Boy Child's Blog

I love real life learning. It's what I've attempted to have as the foundation of our happy little homeschool since my kids were of preschool age. The latest installment has been a project of my Boy Child's.

He wanted to start a blog a while back, and I figured that anything that encouraged him to write was a good thing, so I set him up. I tell you, it was awesome. He spent hours writing, finding clip art, figuring out how to do links and embed videos. It was some serious hands on learning.

He mostly writes about video games, sports and funny things he finds online- typical stuff of interest to an 11 year old boy. The thing is, he writes and rewrites and researches and revises again, and he appears to really enjoy doing it. I sometimes want to get in there and correct and suggest etc, but I'm resisting the urge. This is his baby, and I'm loving seeing him have this outlet.

At first, I wanted to keep the blog private, only able to be viewed by select friends and family, but lately, he's been wanting a larger audience. I can totally relate. When you work hard on something, you want to share it with the world. You want other people to look at it, appreciate it, and hopefully leave positive comments. It's even better when it's not just coming from relatives.

So, after a few talks about internet safety and the possibility of negative people, we opened my Boy Child's blog - Hurricane Henry to everyone. I know he'd love if you'd have a look, and even better, share it with your kids, and encourage them to comment. He'd love the feedback.

If you're looking for a venue to get your kids writing, maybe they too could start a blog. Or maybe they could write a guest post for another kids blog? Who knows the future of this project, but for now, I'm happy to see him learning, writing and having fun.

OK, I guess I'm not "that bad" of a sport!

Well, last week I was lamenting the fact that I may have turned just slightly into a bad sports mom. I was a tad embarrassed by my enthusiastic hollering, and concerned that I had crossed the line into crazy sports fan. It's not like I was painting my face or waving a big foam #1, but still, I felt I could lighten up. So, I worked really hard to make sure I stayed positive for the game today. I took it easy on the caffeine, only shouted encouraging things, and didn't get upset when the refs missed call or made mystery calls. It really helped that the kids on the other team didn't seem to have any obnoxious behavior going on. There was a bit of fouling on both sides, but it seemed like the kids were just really getting into the game, not like they were being malicious.

The parents however, were another story. Let me just start by saying my goodness people, it's a stinking kids game! You might want to relax a little. I know I've been enthusiastic, but some of these people were awful. I made the mistake of sitting in front of a family that had some of the most negative and unpleasant people I've had the displeasure of sitting near. They ranged in age from a teenager, to a couple of parents, and an older fellow who I'm guessing was Grandpa. They had bad sportsmanship going on at every age. From the minute the game started, they started in. I am pretty sure they complained about every single call that was made the entire game. Even if the call was a foul in their teams favor, they complained that it wasn't the right kind of foul. They called the refs (who are just teenagers themselves) a whole bunch of names, then they started in on the coaching strategies, and in between they went as far as to verbally bash on the children. This is a 5th and 6th grade league, and the Grumble family members were saying things like "Where do they get these kids anyway?" and "Phhht! Where'd they learn to shoot like that?" and "What's the matter with that kid?"

Um, they're 10 and 11 year old kids playing kids basketball- they weren't recruited for a pro team. What the heck were the Grumble's expecting? Grandpa even stood up to yell that someone was an idiot. Eventually, I had to move and sit elsewhere. I just couldn't take it. Even from a few seats away, I could hear the Grumble family saying things like "I could coach better than that!" Well then, by all means feel free to volunteer yourself to work with other people's kids for no absolutely money, and spend a couple hours of practice and another couple hours with them for games each week- go right ahead.

Actually, I'm glad they weren't coaching. The other teams coaches, whom I'll call Big Daddy and Big Daddy #2 were almost as bad. They argued a whole bunch of calls with the refs, and were not exactly gracious losers. The game was a tight one the whole way, but in the last 10 seconds, we were ahead by 2 points. They fouled- I don't know what for, but Big Daddy and Big Daddy # 2 looked like their heads were going to pop. They were all red faced with veins bulging and the whole bit shouting that it was not a foul. We got a free throw, which brought us up another point and we won by 3 points. The Big Daddies were out front as we left the gym complaining that they didn't think they would be allowed to coach next year. Gee, I wonder why?

So, I feel glad to know that, thank Goodness, I am not "that" bad. Whew! The amazing thing was that the kids who were on the Bad Sport team did not seem to have so much of the bad sports thing going on themselves. At least not that I saw. Maybe the adults had taken it so far that the kids were embarrassed by it. Hopefully, they will be able to resist going over to the dark side themselves as they get older.

There's only one more week of this basketball season left, and I am again going to be working hard to be positive, even if negativity is in the air. I'm curious, and could use some tips here though..how do other people maintain a good attitude around negative adults? What do you tell your kids about it?

Confessions of a Bad Sports Mom

There seems to be a fine line between enthusiastic cheering and yelling like a mad woman while at children's sporting events, and I think I may have crossed it. It's rather embarrassing, but feel like I need to do one of those AA style confessions:
"My name is Pamela, and apparently, I'm sort of a bad sport."

I don't know how I got to this place. I never would have considered myself to be a bad sport, or even a competitive person. I kept my kids out of competitive things while they were young, and tried to stress the importance of having fun over winning and all that. In fact, I went as far as to make fun of the "Parent Contract" that our local recreation office has the adults sign before their kids are allowed to play. It states that we won't argue with or yell at refs, coaches, or officials, nor will we yell at the kids or instruct them from the sidelines. "Who does that kind of thing anyway?" I thought. Well, as often happens when I publicly mock things, it comes back to haunt me.

For the record, I was not in the least bit looking forward to my Boy Child's basketball team being in a league that kept score this year. In the 5th and 6th grade league, there really isn't a choice. I guess by that point, they figure that kids can deal with the fact that not everyone wins all the time. After a painful basketball season last year, that would have been even more painful if the scoreboard was being used, I was not so excited about score keeping. Boy Child however, couldn't wait. He thought it would be the greatest thing ever. "Where did this competitive child come from?" I wondered.

Boy Child has always been a bit competitive in board games and when learning new skills, and while he's a sweetie in general, he isn't always the sweetest thing when he wins or loses. I've had to remind him on occasion that when a 10 year old finds such joy in creaming a six year old at foosball, perhaps he's taking it a bit too seriously. Likewise when losses are always accompanied by "the sun was in my eyes" or "I didn't feel good" or some other reason that implied he certainly would have won the opponent otherwise, it's not the best example of sportsmanship. So, I was a little worried about how basketball would go.

Well, this basketball season has actually been going well, on his end anyway. He's on a team of nice kids with nice coaches. The wide range of sizes of the kids in 5th and 6th grade is shocking, and the skill level has quite a wide range as well. They've had about an even number of wins and losses, and have generally played their best. They always seem to be playing fair anyway. The one kid on his team who is probably the most likely to foul isn't mine (thank God) and doesn't seem malicious, but frustrated and at a loss when he does it, and the coach calls him on it.

It doesn't seem that every coach and every team in the league have the same thing going on though. Not only are some of the players giant children that are bigger than I am, but some play what looks like street ball, fouling all over the place. I'm not sure on all the rules, but even if it isn't against them, some behavior is just plain obnoxious. For instance, one player on another team had a strategy where anytime our team had the ball, he would get right in the other players face and just scream really loudly. At first I thought he had some sort of mental disorder, but then I think that was just his way of psyching out the opponent. Having someone screaming "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH" five inches from your nose certainly looked distracting, and while I did not mention this to the kids, I personally might have been tempted to bounce the ball off his head to encourage him to shut up. In our last game, a boy on the other team who was guarding my son kept a firm hand ON my sons chest, shoulder or back- physically touching him the entire time. It doesn't seem like that would be allowed, but the refs didn't call it. Still, this was a really annoying strategy. I have told my son to steer clear of fouling, but I think glaring at the kid with a really mean looking, mad dog face, and maybe even flaring nostrils and growling would have been OK since the kid didn't respond to words.

So, I started the season with the assumption that I would be a positive cheering parent with a good attitude win or lose, but it's turning out the good attitude isn't so easy as I thought it would be to maintain, especially when you see kids acting rudely, and no one is dealing with it. Our last game also featured about a half dozen major "hand in the face" kind of fouls that didn't get called, while a bunch of really minor and mysterious things the kids didn't understand had the whistles blowing. I didn't argue with the refs, although I could see now how a person would want to. I don't think they were being impartial- I just think they were teens learning to be refs, and probably doing their best, even if they did appear to be blind at times. But what about the other coaches and parents? Why weren't they telling their kids to stop screaming, touching or doing whatever other nasty behavior was occurring? This is the kind of thing that inspires irrational yelling and crazy behavior from otherwise normal parents. We aren't upset about the winning or losing, we're annoyed at the way they are playing the game, and bad sportsmanship, like bad attitudes in general, seems to be contagious.

I guess that's how I found myself doing embarrassing things I never would have imagined such as encouraging these boys to be more aggressive, yelling "Take the ball!! Get it!!!" with a big scowl line in my forehead, and sometimes even muttering jinxes on the other teams children while they are shooting free throws. I do feel slightly bad about the jinxing of children, and realize in hindsight that some of my enthusiastic cheering most likely crossed the line into hollering like a nut job, but I comfort myself by knowing I certainly was not as crazy as the mom who muttered that she was going to make her son run a mile because he missed a shot.

Now, I find myself wondering about the parents who sit quietly on the sidelines, clapping politely though. How do they do it? I used to be one of them too, I think, but I guess I failed at maintaining it in the heat of the game. I find myself thinking that obviously, those calm and quiet parents didn't consume the quantity of coffee I did,but I know that sounds a little like the excuses my Boy Child was making about losing at foosball.

I also find myself thinking that those other parents are probably just nicer people than me. My competitive streak is out of the closet, and it's ugly. I wonder if my son's competitive nature has been a reflection of me all along? But, I know that guilt self blame aren't going to be productive. Still, I don't like the direction my sports mom persona has taken. I think staying off the Crazy Train might be easier than trying to reroute it once I've already boarded. So, I'm planning on reducing my caffeine intake prior to games just in case, as well as taking a moment to meditate, breathe and focus on the mom I actually want to be, and not the crazy one I was becoming.

Wish me luck....

Good Sports?

It's funny that I have spent the last 9 years telling my son not to be so aggressive, and now that he is in his first season of basketball (and playing against teams of giant Amazon children who would be creaming his poor team if they kept score, but thank goodness they don't.) I find myself actually encouraging him towards actually being aggressive- in the game at least. It's not like I want him to mow them over or anything, but when playing large, assertive people who don't seem to realize that basketball isn't really a contact sport, it may not be a bad idea to be assertive back.
I am clueless to the rules of most sports, so I'm not exactly sure what exactly constitutes a foul in basketball, but any activity that looks remarkably like a dog rubbing on someone's leg seems inappropriate to me, and I'm not sure what the underdog kid is supposed to do at that point.
I'm a little surprised that my kids even play sports since we are not a sporty people- at all. We don't watch sports on TV, and don't know anything about major teams or players. I have no idea who won the last Super Bowl or who will be playing in this one. I just plain do not care in the least about professional sports.
I don't really play sports myself either. I was never very good at athletics as a child, and grew up in an era when it seemed acceptable to jeer, taunt and loudly and cruelly mock other players. I opted out of even trying to play whenever possible to avoid any possibility of the humiliation. But, I couldn't always avoid playing- some of those PE teachers made sure everyone played- and I still carry emotional scars from being forced to play dodge ball. It is a particularly harsh game, the thought of which makes me wince to this day.
My kids don't go to school, so they are never forced to play a game they hate in PE. But, they are active little people who participate in a variety of things of their own choosing. And, if my kids want to follow an interest, I usually try to find a way for them to try it, even if it's a sport I'm really not into. (Within reason that is, but I do reserve the power of veto in all events)
So, my kids have started playing a few sports, and learning life lessons, gaining a few skills and having fun in the process.
I find it interesting that I should actually enjoy watching my own kids play sports so much. They are adorable- not just my kids though- most of the kids out there- are just so darn cute running around chasing balls having a great time (at least on my kids' teams- the professional Amazon children are not as cute however in my opinion, but I may be slightly biased.)
There are the talented kids- the ones who you can tell come from jock filled gene pools and have played before. There are also the goofy ones who are just really not very good at all, but boy are they trying. And then, there's everything in between. Some of the kids are all serious about it, and some are just staring off into space until they get bonked in the head by a ball. One kid throws himself across the room jumping for a ball every time only to land on his face, and he doesn't seem to realize that most of the time, he could've just reached out and grabbed it, and skipped the whole jump / crash scenario. Bless him for his enthusiasm anyway.
My own kid lives in the mountains with a gravel driveway that is not exactly conducive to practicing dribbling, and had never even seen the sport on TV, but he is out there having a blast. He really does give it his all, even if he completely ignores any advice or direction from the coach, and just charges ahead with his own plan, oblivious to the fact that it might not be working. He definitely is having a good time with it.
I find all the kids hilariously entertaining, and I love watching them and cheering them on, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm overly enthusiastic though. They have all these rules about good sportsmanship and parental conduct these days, which are a necessary thing I suppose, to prevent the truly competitive and mean parents from scarring another generation of children. But, I often get confused. When shouting things like "Shoot the ball!" am I coaching from the sidelines or just cheering? Does it make me a bad sport as well as a bad example when I inadvertently groan out loud after the other team steals the ball and scores again? I'm not exactly soft spoken or quiet in everyday conversation, so it's possible I cross the line to loud when I'm excited.
My kids have mentioned in the past that it drives them insane in karate or baseball when they totally blow it, and they are well aware of the fact, but the enthusiastic parents on the sidelines are shouting "Almost!Good try! You'll get it next time!" I explained to them the other option of mean parents yelling "What are you doing loser?" and while they agreed the positive option was better, they would still prefer if the adults would just put a cork in the comments and let them do their thing. They didn't name me specifically, but I am pretty sure I'm guilty of annoying positive encouragement.
I wonder if I actually could sit through a whole game without shouting out anything? I'm not sure I could, but I think I may give it a try next week. Maybe my kids will even thank me for it.