Seeds of Sharing with Kiva

A couple of years ago, my birthday loot included a small wad of cash, and for some odd reason, I didn't have much on my buying wish list. Sure, I could've found ways to blow it all at the mall, or put it to use on household expenses, but those options felt wasteful or boring, so I decided to just share a chunk of my blessings.

A friend suggested I check out Kiva. If you haven't heard of them, they're an organization that does amazing work helping people all over the world. They offer micro business loans in places where you can't just go get a credit card and start charging. The loans are all to help entrepreneurs in their small businesses, rather than just for people to consume stuff, and if you decide to support the idea, it's considered a loan, not a charity donation. Lots of people pool together their money to make up the total sum needed, so you lend as little as $25.

Choosing who to loan to seemed like a great family / homeschool project, so I hollered for the kids to come check it out with me. We spent quite some time browsing- there's a huge variety of kinds of businesses, people and countries of origin to consider. You could wander the site for hours..

Since half of my family comes from Colombia, and I majored in Fashion Design in a previous life, we chose two women who had clothing businesses in South America for our fist two loans. They paid us back back in installments, and in a short time, I had enough money back in my Kiva account to reinvest and make another loan.

We're now up to our 10th loan, all from the same original $50. That's right- my $50 extra birthday money has been a part of supporting ten different small businesses from all over the world. Talk about bang for your buck! It's also an awesome way of planting the seeds of sharing in my kids.

Choosing the next  borrower is almost always a family affair and done using a completely random system of whatever strikes our interest at the time.

Sometimes, we just love a name, like the Uvumilivu Beauty Shop or The Divine Baby Jesus Crafts Group, and other times, we just love a picture, like the one of Jose and his cool red zipper mobile. Sometimes a type of business or s

ection of the world catches our eye. You can't really go wrong. The loans are rated according to risk, and the repayment rate for me, has been perfect so far.

The process has been a springboard to learning more about different countries, cultures, politics and businesses, and the world. The kids find the places on the globe, Google pictures and read about the places. We might end up trying a new food or watching a foreign film. My adventurous offspring now want to try to visit some of these businesses in our travels, and I too would love if that could happen. In 

the mean time, my kids decided to pool some of their extra holiday cash to do a loan of their own. 

I'd love to invite anyone with a few bucks to spare to head over to Kiva via the link below, and invest in some seeds of sharing. Come on, it'll make you feel good.......Bring your kids along too- it's a great lesson and a good deal of fun.

http://kiva.org/invitedby/pamela5848 

Our Family loans so far....

• Jose Herbert

  Motorcycle Transport

  El Salvador

  Raising funds
  

  6% raised
• Soñadores Con…

  Clothing Sales

  Dominican Republic

  Paying back
  

  47% repaid
• Mujeres Unidas…

  Sewing

  Paraguay

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Nuevo Amanecer…

  Arts

  Paraguay

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Uvumilivu Group

  Beauty Salon

  Tanzania

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Divino Niño…

  Crafts

  Paraguay

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Flor De Azucena…

  Clothing

  Bolivia

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Pacajes Group

  Crafts

  Bolivia

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Agripina

  Clothing Sales

  Peru

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid
• Antonia Godoy

  Clothing Sales

  Paraguay

  Paid back
  

  100% repaid

Unsolicited Advice

I guess everyone gets their share of unwelcome, unsolicited advice, and if you choose to do anything out of the realm of "normal," you'll probably get a lot of it.  The thing I wonder is why some people feel the need to tell other people what they are doing wrong in their lives, even when the other person didn't ask and was perfectly happy?

While shopping for  groceries recently, I ran into some people I had not seen in years and naturally, we began to catch up. Upon learning that I am still homeschooling my kids, one of them treated me to a lengthy lecture on what a bad idea she thinks it is.

It started with "You know, I don't agree with what what you're doing!" My first instinct was to laugh as I had not asked for her opinion or permission, but since I'm really working on being a nicer person, I managed to reply with something like "Oh... well we're pretty happy with it."

She went on to tell me that my children would never learn to solve problems if they didn't go to school. I tried explaining that they had opportunities to solve problems every day, like most people do, in or out of school. I tried to give examples, but she was on to telling me that without school, they wouldn't know how to deal with the real world.

I mentioned the many ways they were already involved in the "real world" with classes, friends and volunteering, and that in my experience, the "real world" of junior high is nothing like the outside real world of life. Even the world of college is not the same as high school.

She was fast on the fly with her criticisms, and barely let me get a word in our defense. In reality, no matter what I would've said, she wasn't going to listen. Her mind was made up, which is fine, but she went on and on about it. I can't figure out why she needed so badly to try to convince me that I was doing the wrong thing.

I just don't get people like that. I had absolutely no desire to get her to change her family or get her to homeschool. In fact, I wish her the best with whatever path they take. I may not think it's the right one for me, but who cares? I'm on my own path!

I tried to shift the subject, but she kept coming back.

It seems like the only thing that would have made her happy was for me to say "Why, you're right. I'm living my life in a completely wrong way and ruining my children! I'm leaving my shopping cart and running out now to go sign my kids up at school this instant!"

The thing is, she never even looked at my kids, or asked how they were doing. She totally reamed on us about what she assumed would be wrong, without even considering the evidence right in front of her face. She never considered that we were perfectly happy with our life and that it works well for us.

The whole situation  left me feeling sad, hurt and angry. Logically, these are the kinds of things you just brush off. I know I don't really need to take parenting advice from this person, especially when I'm well aware of the unpleasant details of her family dysfunctions. But, I'm not always logical, and it frustrates me to be so openly criticized, especially in front of my kids who are at an age when they notice differences and care about what others think.

Part of me wanted to go on a raging tangent about the absurdity of it, including a long list of things that were wrong with her family and how school had certainly not solved their problems. OK, part of me did mumble and grumble about it the whole way home but it didn't actually make me feel any better. Turning the ugly mirror just encouraged me in my meanness. Speaking of being mean, it's one thing I learned a lot about in school.

I finally managed to get away, but her words and attitude haunted me for quite a while. Unfortunately, I'm not the ultra forgiving and kind person I'd like to be, and situations like this really put my attempts at peaceful niceness to the test. Maybe running into people like her is a part of my zen mama training? To be honest, I felt more like pulling some kung-fu ninja moves on her for insulting my family and my kids, but I managed to be polite. Maybe it's just another way the universe is showing me the kind of person I don't want to be?

The thing is, life is full of challenges and tough decisions, and it's even harder when you're not on the mainstream path. It feels like you're being judged for your choices, and apparently, sometimes you are. I'm certainly open to wise counsel and ideas, but I'm not going to blindly follow along with the masses just because an outspoken person doesn't like that we do things differently. Thinking back on it, I'm rolling my eyes and thinking "What - Ever."

Since most people are probably trying to do what they think is best for their families, wouldn't life be a lot nicer if we could just be kind and respectful to each other? And another crazy idea- Instead of trying to fix everyone else's family, how about putting the energy into our own?

New Year, New Look

Since the New Year is a natural time for change, I decided to ring in 2012 with a new look for my dear old blog. Yes, I realize that it's already over a week into the new year, so I'm a bit late on the ring in, but that's just how I roll sometimes. 

When I started my "Blah, Blah, Blog" I named it after my Dear Husband's fond way of impersonating me chatting with the ladies. Apparently, our blabbing sounds something like "Blah, Blah, Blah" with random inserts of  cackling laughter. I thought it was a witty title, but later discovered there were a few other blogs with the same name. I hate it when I'm not as clever as I thought.

Anyway...I also started off with a focus of writing about homeschooling and family life. Those are still a big part of my writing, just as they are a huge part of my life. But these days, I find my blogging has grown to include travel, exploration, adventure, art, writing and all sorts of empowered living ideas. Since we're a life living, funschooling sort of homeschool family, this all kind of rolls into the package anyway.

It's an eclectic assortment, but the theme seems to revolve around enjoying life. For many of us, that means consciously escaping all the downer forces trying to box us into a conventional lifestyle. Too often, we do things that suck the joy out of our existence, operating under the assumption that we have to assimilate. Well, we don't. Escape is possible.

Escape is less about running away, and more about finding what makes you smile and laugh. What brings you joy? It's about learning what's really important to you, not to your neighbors and friends, but to you, and making that your priority.

Of course life has it's ups and downs, and we all have to deal with our share of things we'd rather not. But the point is, life can be a lot more fun if you let go of the idea that you have to do things just because it seems everyone else is doing them. It's your life. You might as well enjoy it.

I hope you like the new look and the expanded focus. Thanks for coming along on the journey!

OCD Meets ADHD- My Post Holiday De-Cluttering

Every year around holidays, I start getting a mad urge to get rid of some of the excess stuff that clutters my home and life. I think this started somewhere in my first years of parenting when I realized that the holidays would mean an onslaught of plastic, noisy, blinking, flashing stuff that my beloved and well meaning relatives felt my children needed.

Of course I've tried talking to the gift bearers, assuring them of the appreciation, but noting the maxed square footage of my home and the unlikelihood that we would be adding on rooms to accommodate toys. Many responded with gifts of lessons, outings or things that took up less physical space, but still, the holidays mean stuff, and probably quite a bit of it, is coming our way.

So, I begin trying to thin the stuff before the gifts start coming in, but with the busyness of the season, I still have lots to do afterward. That's what Boxing Day is for. The holiday always lands the day after Christmas and, in case you haven't heard of it, actually has nothing to do with the sport of boxing. Although a few too many family holiday gatherings may inspire you to pull out the gloves, Boxing Day is actually a traditional European holiday where the wealthy give boxes of goodies to their servants.

I'm not in Europe, not wealthy, and don't have servants (although someday, I really hope to have a maid, but that's another story.) That's OK, because I usually turn holidays into what I want them to be anyway. Besides, I understand that these days, it's mostly just a day that banks and government offices are closed, and in Canada, it's a shopping day equivalent to Black Friday in the states. I guess the gift is that it's a paid federal holiday and you can score some bargain electronics.

In my tradition of making up my own traditions, I've make it Boxing Week for my personal use, and I use the time to box up stuff I no longer want or need and get  it out of my life one way or another. I donate the good stuff and recycle what I can. My car is loaded multiple times to go to the thrift shop (and the donations are covered so that none of my household can get nostalgic and suddenly want something that was destined to bless someone else who does not live with me.

I recycle what I can, but the rest, I toss. I've learned to let go of the idea that somebody could use a perfectly good t shirt with one small ketchup stain. I no longer hold onto it to wear while gardening as I don't want to look like a big ratty slob, even when pulling weeds. These days, if it's trash and I'm in clean up mode, it's outta here. It's the only time of year that my trash can actually goes to the curb full.

This year, my de-cluttering rampage seemed more intense than ever. I was a roaring hurricane, tearing through rooms, emptying cupboards and drawers, sorting, tossing and basically making complete disasters everywhere I went. I suppose a professional would finish one area before moving on to the next, but I am clearly not a professional. It was like OCD meets ADHD with some caffeine thrown in for good measure, and it probably frightened the children.

I had recently read some stories from one of those organizational experts which gave numerous examples of people holding onto all kinds of sentimental clutter, and when they let it go, somehow the universe opened up all these new windows of opportunity for them.

I love these kind of mystical whoo hoo ideas, and realized that I've been holding on to oodles of old journals, artwork and papers of all kinds. It's like I had a small forests worth of paper, and when I looked, I really did not care in the least about much of it.

I thought the journals might contain some profound writings I could use or pass on to my offspring, but as I waded through the pages, I realized a couple of things.

1) I seem to journal much more when angry or sad than when happy, and if anyone read these in the future, I may be taken for a miserable and bitter person.

2) I had no desire to muck through the unpleasantness and relive it for some bits of wit or wisdom here and there. Forget that. I'll just have to come up with new and better stuff.

3) I've been complaining about a lot of the same stuff for years. I need to quit wanking or do something about things that bug me or move on.

With this in mind, I hauled them out to the fire pit and burned them on New Years eve. I also got rid of tons of old art of my own. I kept the pieces I like, but there were a lot of old college art projects that I never liked in the first place, but have packed around with me for years. Now, they're ash, along with pounds of old financial papers like car loans for vehicles we no longer own, 15 year old taxes and more.

The wonderful thing is, I feel a bazillion pounds lighter. I had no idea this stuff was such a weight on me, but my shoulders lift just thinking about it being gone. I bet if I were to measure myself, I'd be standing taller.

I sure hope the mystical organizer is right and wonderful new opportunities will come my way now that the old clutter and junk is going away. In any case,  things are looking better around here and I feel free and able to focus on the days ahead.

Maintenance of this reduced clutter world, will of course be another story.

Looking Back Before Looking Ahead

I love the start of a New Year- it's like a clean canvas ready to be painted. Most years, I'm just so ready to look ahead that I barely look back. But this year, messages to reflect on 2011 were coming at me from so many directions, I figured it must be a sign I needed to do it.

Chris Guillebeau, author of The Art of Nonconformity and travel guy extraordinaire gave me the first nudge to do an annual year end review. It's a pretty simple process- looking at what worked and what didn't in the previous year.

Jennifer Lee, of the Right Brain Business Plan and super creative lady in general came up with a cool Exploding Box Year in Review idea along with questions about what you're proud of and what you learned.

The idea that I needed to reflect and think before moving on came from other sources as well, and so, I listened. I realized that in a way, 2011 was a year of reflection. I spent some much needed time on taking care of myself, learning, thinking and growing.

Between being a full time homeschooling mom with a part time job, volunteering, trying to write and make art, running a bazillion errands and meeting so many other people's needs, it took some conscious effort to prioritize myself. But I realized that self care wasn't selfish if it prevented me from freaking out and being a mean mom, bad worker, and general flake with a negative attitude.

One thing that worked wonderfully last year was taking my 2 kids and a tent on a five week 4000 + mile road trip to explore the southwest. It was the first leg of a master plan to tackle 50 States in the next 5 Years (4 years now since 2011 is gone) and every day we found ourselves exclaiming "WOW!" over the amazingness of it all. The idea of a woman alone on the road with kids led to mixed reactions- some people were excited and encouraging of the adventure and others were simply concerned for our safety and my sanity.

Seven states and 13 National Parks later, I'll admit, we did occasionally get lost, had some minor car issues, and were snowed on and froze a few times, but we also saw incredible sights, met interesting people, and fell in love with exploring this beautiful world. If you ever have the chance to follow a dream with kids, I'd say "Go for it!"

Traveling together is something we will definitely be doing more of in 2012.

Refocusing my energy to reduce soul sucking, time wasting endeavors and to include more creative efforts also worked well. I wrote more, created more art, and earned a scholarship to the UCLA Writers Program. I found that the more I submitted my work to the world, the more success I had (I was rejected too, of course, but the successes were enough to inspire me to keep moving in that direction.)

Restructuring my living space and getting rid of literally hundreds of pounds of things I didn't really want or need was a lot of work, but feels amazing. I tossed, recycled and donated things that were cluttering my home and my life. I organized what mattered and made a space that's much more conducive to creativity and family life, which is just what an artsy homeschooling mama needs. More creative projects are on the way in 2012 for sure.

What I'm most proud of is the amazing people that my kids are. I feel both honored and blessed to have them in my life, and am so thankful for the fun times we have together.

Things that didn't work so well mostly related to being scatterbrained, procrastinating or not paying attention. I can see that focusing, prioritizing, and time management need to be on the agenda in the upcoming year, especially if I want to do amazing and creative things.

The last night of 2011, I spent celebrating with my hubby and kids. We ate black eyed peas and cornbread over a bonfire that burned old journals and papers from the past, and talked about what was to come. The kids and I wrote letters to ourselves to be opened in a year. Then they built a giant marble run using every piece in the set and featuring 4 separate drop points so we could all drop our own ball at midnight. I sat down with glue, scissors and magazines and created a collage of my reflections.

We all ate sweet things and drank bubbly things and rang in the New Year with noise and merriment. Boy Child decided to jump in the unheated pool despite the fact that it was 43 degrees outside. I've never seen that kid swim so fast in my life!

My word for 2011 was "Enjoy." I think for 2012 I'll go with "Explore"- it works for all sorts of things- travel, art, personal life and whatever else comes my way. I'm glad I took the time to look back at the lessons of the last year.  The next few days will be for looking ahead, and I'm feeling more ready than ever for dreaming and scheming to make 2012 full of amazing adventures.

Happy New Year!