Just What I Needed- The $100 Start Up

I pulled into the driveway after a long and hard day. Waiting for my Boy Child to open the gate, I just hoped he'd hurry. I was exhausted- both physically and mentally.

It had been one of those days when all the little things that cost money started adding up into a big ugly pile in my lap. I may be a master frugalista, but life still requires cash, and sometimes you need a little more than others. This summer had a lineup of things-from fun stuff like camping trips to the necessary and big stuff like a newer reliable car to get my family around- all of which would require more cash.

Being an industrious kind of gal, I perused the local job boards. Ugh. It was awful. Have you looked at employment sites lately? In the area I live, the lack of suitable jobs for me was totally discouraging, but not as much as the micro salary range of the jobs I did see.

While lamenting my dismal prospects, Boy Child came up and showed me the hole he had worn in his shoes, and Girl Child let me know that she had outgrown her swimsuit. It continued like this with things raining down- dental visits, vet visits, some wonderful opportunities that were great deals- some just things we'd just need to deal with whether we liked it or not- but all requiring me to think about how to round up money.

Driving home, I was thinking about how miserable I would be in some of the jobs that were available, and wondered how I'd live on one. It was a scary and overwhelming thought, and wasn't helping me with my dilemma at all.

So, when Boy Child found a box at the gate, I perked up and ripped it open before we even got to the house.

Don't you just love when things show up in life exactly when you need them?

It was a brand new copy of Chris Guillebeau's new book- The $100 Startup. The subtitle was like a message just for me- "Reinvent the way you make a living, do what you love, and create a new future." 

I'm only a few pages into it so far, and a full review will come later, but I can already see that this is just the inspirational kind of thinking I needed. Rather than resorting to soul sucking and poorly paying work, I'm brainstorming ways to use my creative talents to come up with something else. Whoohooo!

I have no problem crediting a higher power here- Thank God I got this book right now, before my mind spiraled into gloomy and dark visions of minimum wage and crummy apartments in the hood. (Yes...I know...that's a bit dramatic, but that's how I tend to be.)

If you're not familiar with Guillebeau, you simply must check out his Art of Non-Conformity. He's a go getter with a fabulous outlook on life, who actually inspired my kids and I to tackle our plan to explore all 50 states before the oldest is 18. I can't wait to see what ideas come out of this book.

I'd also love to hear what creative and fun ways other people are coming up with to fund their life adventures. Inspiration is contagious and I certainly would love to catch and spread more of it. So....any ideas to share?

Screen Free Week

Did you realize that the average American preschooler spends 32 hours a week in front of a screen? Older kids spend even more time. That's almost a full time job!

It's officially Screen Free Week this week- April 30th to May 6th- and my family is taking part in the celebration.

Our TV probably gets a lot less use than your average American owned one, but I notice I've been relying on it more than I'd like to. If we're tired, we stare at the screen instead of reading, playing music or creating anything. Since we've had a crazy busy schedule lately, we've been tired a lot and books are sitting on the shelf unread, games are neglected and little creative work is popping up.

Facebook is it's own evil time sucker, which I'd considered giving up for Lent, but I opted for giving up bitterness instead. I think this is the time to wean myself away from the Facebook habit, and focus on things that I actually want to get done, and are probably more important than reading pointless status updates.

I think my family and I could use a little digital cleanse. 

Boy Child is not too excited, but I have a theory that attitudes change (like bad ones increase) with increase in media time. So, in the end, this detox will be good for him.

I'll still be blogging, because I consider it work, even if I make no money off it. I'm also in the midst of online writing classes in the UCLA Writing Program, so obviously I'll still be online. But, I'll be cutting out the extra- non work and non school related screen time, and so will my reluctant offspring. (I only mentioned the TV part so far, although it may extend to hand held game players as well. I just didn't want Boy Child to totally panic.)

What will we do instead? Hopefully, we'll play more games- indoor and out, read more books, and generally enjoy our animals, instruments and artsy stuff. There's lots more ideas here

Anyone else doing screen free week? I'd love to here about what your family does when the screens are off.

Super Mama Sacagewea

Every kid in America learns about the great explorations of Lewis and Clark, and most will learn at least the name Sacagawea while they're at it, but knowing that a native American woman helped as a guide just really doesn't do this woman or her story justice.

We love exploration, and stories of adventure always resonate with me. Yes, the men were brave and adventurous, but without  Sacagawea's assistance, I doubt they would have made it. As a mother, I am especially in awe that during the entire adventure she was either pregnant or carrying a baby on her back. That is one super mama. Her husband seems like a creeper old man, but that is another story.

As part of our own recent Great Pacific North West Adventure, we did a little Lewis and Clark exploration along the Columbia River in Oregon. Our route started near the ocean at Fort Clatsop, a replica of the fort that the party spent a winter in before returning home. Apparently, it rained all but 12 days out of the three months they spent there, making it a less than pleasant experience.

The weather was very cold and wet for our visit, giving it an authentic feel, except when we got tired of hiking in the rain, we got in a car with heated seats and ate chips. Gotta love modern conveniences.

We also saw replicas of the dug out canoes they used, and could not imagine heading down that massive river on one of them. When one flipped over, Sacagawea was the one to save all their scientific journals and samples, with the baby on her back on her back of course. Did I mention no life vests? In our safety immersed culture, it's hard to even picture a baby in a tiny boat at all, let alone with no flotation device.

We've enjoyed looking at the Lewis and Clark story from different points of view through historical fiction, my personal favorites being that of Sacagawea of course, but also that of Seaman, the big dog that accompanied the group.

His life size statue looks so much like our big dog, it made us all miss him. It also made me think about how smelly that wet dog would have been in those cold and rainy months. And, how much poison oak he would have spread.

Another interesting note....we read that the Lewis and Clark pieces were recently opened again at the Smithsonian Institute, and all of the museum staff who handled them got poison oak. So, the oil of that evil plant can still do it's itchy mayhem after over 100 years. Crazy.

After our fill of Fort Clatsop, we headed up the river that the Lewis and Clark party had came down, talking about the bravery of people who attempt such feats. I've had people tell me that I'm brave for traveling solo with my kids these days. HA- I'm pretty sure I'm completely incompetent compared to Sacagewea. I have maps, a laptop, convenience stores, snacks and towing service. I can't even fathom doing half of what she did, especially with a baby on my back.

Tea Time

A young homeschooling friend recently had an assignment for his online Literature class that wasn't the easiest thing for an 11 year old boy. He had to throw a tea party. Not the political kind, but after reading and discussing "Little Women" he had to host an authentic Victorian tea party.

That's not exactly every boy's dream assignment, but fortunately for the young fellow, he knew some willing kids who would participate, which meant arriving in costume and character, and trying their best to use suitable manners. Girl Child had been studying the Civil war, so this all went along with things in our little homeschool quite splendidly.

I had not read the book "Little Women" in years, and my kids hadn't read it at all. We didn't have time to reread it before the party, so we resorted to borrowing the movie from the library. Unfortunately, it was the 1994 version, which was I'm sorry to say, just painful, and didn't make the best impression of it for my Boy Child.

Nevertheless, my kids are good sports and we attempted to rummage up costumes. My Boy Child was the hardest as he doesn't really do "dress clothes" but we at least found an old button up shirt from some past performance and paired it with black jeans and a vest. The skater shoes weren't exactly authentic Victorian vintage, but were the best we could do.

The day of the party came and the guests all looked lovely. The food was elegant, and their manners were impressive. They even showed some restraint with the sugar cubes in their tea without being asked (or at least they seemed to.)

Tea was followed by croquet. At this point I wondered when the manners would slack to modern times, but they maintained fairly well for the most part (although one mallet handle get broken, no people or animals were injured in the making of the tea party.)

I was quite proud of the young fellow who put it all together, and even made figgy pudding to serve.

Most of all, I'm proud to know such an assorted group of kids who haven't been crammed into a one size fits all mold and are still open to having fun while learning and trying new things.

Long Shots

If you keep your eyes and ears open, you'll probably find that life is full of amazing and wonderful opportunities. The art of writing is no exception- contests, submission calls, grants and workshops abound, many of which can help a writer become stronger at their craft. Of course, if you have the least bit of a skeptical nature, as I do, you'll quickly realize just how unlikely some of the opportunities are to ever happen.

I'm fairly diligent about looking for new markets and ideas, but when I come across a prospect that's a complete long shot, I often wonder whether I should even bother trying. To be honest, more often than not, I don't even try. Instead, like many people, I resign myself to the fact that the opportunity is out of my league, and I should probably just concentrate on smaller pieces of pie.

The thing is, I've been feeling hungry for a bigger slice. I've been reading helpful how-to articles for writers, subscribing to lists, and taking writing challenges for some time, and I keep seeing a similar piece of advice. The idea is that at some point, you need to just go for it.

In my late night internet reading, I came across an online writing program through UCLA extension that seemed perfect. The variety and focus of the classes, the experience of the instructors, and the fact that I could take classes online and fit them in my life seemed like an ideal match. My practical dream squelching side kicked in fairly quickly, and I looked at the cost. My excitement began to wither. I continued to browse the site, albeit feeling somewhat defeated. 

As I looked around though, an opportunity presented itself. There were ten scholarships available for the writing program this year. If ever there was a total long shot, this was it- I mean, this is a program through UCLA. I would think there would be some serious competition, and I'm a small scale mama writer living 
in the hills. The odds of my winning seemed very, very small.

But, I decided that all of these helpful how-to gurus might be on to something. I decided to just go for it. Yes, it was a long shot, and very unlikely, but the worst they could do was tell me was no.

I procrastinated on writing the required essays until a few days before the application was due, but when I wrote, I tried to speak from my heart about how much the program would mean to me. I gave it my best shot, and sent the packet off into the universe with my hopes and wishes.

Weeks passed and I had not thought much more about it, until one afternoon when an email came in my box...."We are pleased to let 
you know ...."

I had to reread it at least six times to make sure it was true before I could celebrate. I simply couldn't believe that I was actually awarded one of the ten scholarships. My long shot had paid off.

The reality is that I have no idea how many people applied or what the actual odds were in this opportunity, but I had certainly perceived that they were stacked against me. Had I listened to my practical side and not decided to just go for it anyway, I would never have won the scholarship, and I wouldn't be in the midst of classes now.

I know not every long shot will pay off. Not every one will even be worth the effort involved, but if you're feeling up for whatever an opportunity is, don't let the odds discourage you. If you never reach for that bigger piece of pie, you'll be stuck with the tiny portions forever.


****This article was recently published in the Funds For Writers Newsletter, and was another long shot that paid off. You can check it out here.

Guest Post Book Review: Midnight Blue

Today's post is from my fabulous Girl Child. She recently read a  bizarro book that I had on my shelf from a Children's Lit class I took a few years ago, and I wanted to share her review here. I hope you'll enjoy it. So, without further ado:

A Response to Literature by Lily C:  

      Midnight Blue by Pauline Fiske is an imaginative science fiction novel, which is both captivating and creepy to read. The book follows the story of a troubled girl named Bonnie who runs away from home in a hot air balloon. Then, she finds herself swept into a weird parallel world where she encounters much the same difficulties as she did in her original one.
    
       The majority of the story takes place on a remote mountain farm, called High Holly Hill, where Bonnie isn’t sure how she got there or how to escape. The farm is owned by strange (yet kind) people and is supposedly looked after by two mysterious gods. The creepy sense of the setting only contributes to the supernatural feel of the book.

In the two worlds the book takes place in, things are both opposite and similar, like a parallel universe. In the original world, Bonnie lives in a crowded city apartment, but in the second one it’s a country  farm. Still, the characters in both worlds are strangely similar, and the very person Bonnie ran away from in one life has an alternate identity in the second.

Overall, I both liked and disliked this book. It seemed to have a confusing plot- unlike a lot of fantasies, there was not a clear quest for the main character to follow, or conflict to solve. Even by the end, I didn’t understand how Bonnie had been transported to the other world, or what the villain’s motives were. But, I was still caught up enough by the intrueging characters, and quick-moving pace, that I wanted to finish it. It reminded me of “A Wrinkle in Time,” mostly because it’s so weird.

This novel was, overall,  an interesting piece of literature, and I can definitely say it is unique from any other book I’ve read.

By Lily C.

Control

Maybe it's the fact that I am clinging to the very edge of my 30's, or maybe it's that I now have a teen and a tween child, but whatever the reason, I have been thinking a lot about my life and its direction lately. A little conscious decision making about what I want to work on, change or improve is probably better than a full fledged mid-life crisis, although I may save that option for in a few years.

For now, I'm discovering quite a bit on this little journey of exploration. I've also been coming across a lot of interesting resources, like this great list I found of "50 Things You Can Control Right Now" by Lori Deschene.

I hate to say it because I like to think of myself as an easy going laid back kind of gal, but maybe, just maybe I have a little tiny bit of a thing for control. Certain people, who shall remain nameless, have weighed in their opinion about what they perceive as my controlling tendencies. In my defense, I think this person has an unwarranted paranoia. All of the "honey do" items are honestly not an attempt to control their free time, but rather they are actually just ideas that could make life more pleasant.

Anyway, I know I have far less of a need to control things than some of my friends, but hey, let's face it, sometimes it's nice to have things running your way. I think a lot of moms like to run their own show, and maybe even more so amongst homeschooling moms. So, I know I'm not alone.

In any case, when I saw the title of this article my eyebrows shot up, and I was instantly interested in finding 50 things that I actually could control. It's a little embarrassing how excited I was about wrangling a whole 50 things to be my way!

Then I read the list. It's all about realizing the things that you actually have the ability to change, with the thought that if you focus on those, you can let go of all of those other things that you can't really do anything about. Of course, logically, you can't control other people, what they do, or how they act. The things you can control are your own actions and reactions. We all know this in our hearts, but thinking about it is both liberating and heavy. On the one hand, you can let go of a lot of frustration, and on the other, you have to accept responsibility for a lot of things. Some are easier- like smiling and saying "thank you" and they do have a big impact. Others require more effort- like exercising, controlling negative thinking or taking care of clutter. But in the end, Lori is right about most of these things. They are things in our lives that we can control.

So, what do you think of the list? See anything on there that would make your home life happier? Anything you wish you could control, but can't? How do you deal with control issues?

What's the point of high school?

As my kids get older, when people learn that we are a homeschooling family, we are getting more and more of the "what about high school?" type of questions. The questioner often has raised eyebrows and the kind of look in their eye that clearly says they think I am a crazy woman, and that even though they just complimented me on how smart and well spoken my kids are, surely I am damaging them severely and ruining their future if I do not make them go to high school.

I know some people had a great high school experience, some so much that they are still hanging on to those glory days of theirs 20 years later. Some actually think I'm depriving my kids of something, but the thing is...at this point, my kids don't seem to have much of an interest. They have friends who go to school, and while they think a few of the classes sound fun, they don't want the all day, 5 days a week plus homework, no free time, and lots of busywork that goes with it. They like sleeping in, choosing their own classes and materials, and taking as long as they need to follow their passions. They like being free range learners, and it seems to be working. They still have the excitement and passion to learn new things, they know how to work, get along with people and solve problems. They get a little baffled at concepts like 12 year olds having babies or doing drugs or school shootings because that just isn't a part of what they consider the normal world, but I think that's OK. I don't consider those things normal either.

Personally, I didn't think that high school was all that great myself either, and I probably reflect that in my attitude about it. I kind of thought it was a huge waste of time, but at the time, I didn't know I could do anything else. I didn't even know that being productive or doing anything "real" was an option. Now that I know the beauty of life learning, I am happy my kids have this option.

When I came across this blog post from business and marketing guru Seth Godin, I thought he nicely sums up what a good education for young people should include.

In  What's High School For?, Godin suggests: "Perhaps we could endeavor to teach our future the following:

• How to focus intently on a problem until it's solved.
• The benefit of postponing short-term satisfaction in exchange for long-term success.
• How to read critically.
• The power of being able to lead groups of peers without receiving clear delegated authority.
• An understanding of the extraordinary power of the scientific method, in just about any situation or endeavor.
• How to persuasively present ideas in multiple forms, especially in writing and before a group.
• Project management. Self-management and the management of ideas, projects and people.
• Personal finance. Understanding the truth about money and debt and leverage.
• An insatiable desire (and the ability) to learn more. Forever.
• Most of all, the self-reliance that comes from understanding that relentless hard work can be applied to solve problems worth solving."

I hate to say it, but I didn't get those things out of high school, and I suspect a fairly large number of other people aren't getting them either. Most of these are things that I learned about in real life, not in high school. I did learn a lot about how to jump hoops, manipulate people and situations, memorize trivia for tests, take shortcuts, as well as be mean and get away with it. Junior High was the training grounds and high school was four years of repetition.

I don't recall learning much in the way of self management and sadly, the high school experience came closer to actually squelching my love of learning than fostering a life long love of it. It wasn't until college that I got excited about learning again, and in hind sight, I probably would have learned a lot more if I had just gone straight there and skipped the high school. So, I'm perfectly happy if my kids skip it and keep on with the actual business of living and learning. I think that a self directed education with plenty of resources, guidance and support is going to give a lot better opportunity for the things on this list than a typical high school could.


Of course I don't think every homeschooled kid gets all those great opportunities and support, just like not every school kid has a negative experience. One size never really fits all, and just because homeschooling works for us, doesn't mean it works for everyone. But, no matter where your kids, or you, gets an education, Godin's list gives some food for thought as to what that education should include. Life, time and our minds are too precious to waste on nonsense.

So, what do you think a quality education should include?

Sing Song Story of the World

A few years ago, someone loaned me a copy of the first volume in Susan Wise Bauer's "Story of the World" series. She uses a "story based" approach to introducing historical periods, which I thought was a lot more fun than a boring textbook. I wouldn't exactly say that I have a "classical child" which the subtitle states this is history for, but I do have a couple of story lovers, so they both enjoyed this approach as well.
Our family loves tie in activities too, so I not only kept the borrowed book for ages, I also got the corresponding activity book to go with it. There are about 14 times more activities listed for each chapter than I could possibly imagine doing, but perhaps someone more organized than me might actually accomplish all of them with their kids. I like to have a lot to choose from in any case, so I appreciated the offerings that ranged from maps to coloring to crafts to cooking. We've only done a fraction of the offerings, but have had fun with the ones we've tried.

A while later, while lamenting curriculum purchases that we never finish with a group of other relaxed homeschooling moms like myself (meaning we are relaxed as far as curriculum, not necessarily as far as all other things in life, but anyway...) another friend mentioned that she had the CDs for several volumes in the Story of the World series. She talked up the way her kids could listen in the car or in beds, while she was busy doing something other than reading. Well we love audio books, and I was very excited to hear about this option. I mentioned this, but unfortunately, she did not offer to loan them to me- probably because she heard that I had borrowed the book for so long.

Oh well. I am resourceful, and I was able to find a copy of the second volume on CD "The Middle Ages" in a homeschool lending library (which has very long check out periods and no late fees, both of which work really well for me.) So we snatched it up, and I ordered the activity book for it as well.

Well, we're enjoying the stories in the second volume, but I do have to say that this is one case where both my kids and I preferred my reading the books aloud over listening to them on the CDs. When listening to a story, the experience really comes down to the narrator and whether or not they have your attention. In this case, the narrator sounds like a very nice lady, but has one of those patronizing preschool teacher kind of voices. I feel a little like she's talking down to me the whole time. There's just something about condescending tones, that are also found in many "educational" videos, just don't really do it for me or my kids.

I wonder why people feel the need to use a "you're not smart enough for this so I'm going to really enunciate, smile a lot, and use small words" voice with kids? Personally, I have never been one to talk in those tones or dumb down conversations with my own kids, so they tend to be baffled when other people share educational facts in a very happy sing song voice, at the slowest speed possible.

With videos and CDs, they just roll their eyes, and sometimes start doing impersonations throughout the day. "Mother..." (pause for 10 seconds with scary smile) ..."I'm going to do my chores now. Chores are household jobs that helpful children perform." With real life humans, they are polite enough not to roll their eyes, but I can tell it annoys the heck out of them.

So, again, while we liked the stories, we couldn't quite figure out what my friend was so excited about with the audio versions. I mean, we were amused when at one point in story of Beowulf, the narrator exclaims in a perfect remedial educator voice "Beowulf ripped off their arms, and caused them great harm." While it gave us a good laugh, I still wasn't hooked. Then, I realized that the version I acquired is not the same one she has.

Apparently, I have the singsong version of Story of the World and she has the version that is narrated by Jim Weiss! Now, we've heard fabulous tales told by this fellow, and I am quite sure his version would be much more up my alley. But, probably due to my "long borrowing" history, my friend has still not offered to loan me her CDs, and the lending library isn't purchasing new copies. I'm just glad I borrowed this one instead of purchasing it myself.

We'll still finish the volume, as we do like the stories, but when we move on to the next volumes, I'll be on the look out for the least sing song version possible. If I don't find those, we'll stick with the paper book versions and go back to the tried and true method of my reading aloud. In any case, we are still enjoying the series, the stories, and the activities that go along with them.

I'd love to hear about other fun history sources your family is using. What have you enjoyed....or not enjoyed?

Just Like Ma Ingalls

I've gone through several stages in my life where I've felt an awful lot like Ma Ingalls. I loved enjoying the Little House books with my kids when they were younger. At the time, we were going through what I refer to as our "self sufficiency phase" and living off the grid in the mountains of northern California, and the books were a perfect fit.

Basically, "off the grid" means we had no power from an electric company, and therefore, we had very little in the way of electricity. We had a ridiculously small propane refrigerator, (with not even enough freezer space for a carton of ice cream) and a wood stove to keep warm. Every few days, I would fire up our ancient generator to wash a load of laundry, and I tried very hard to time this during Sesame Street so I could have a few minutes on the computer while I had power and my children were occupied. Eventually, we bought a tiny solar panel that gave us a few house lights when it wasn't foggy, but it usually was foggy, so it wasn't often we had those lights. Mostly, we read at night by oil lamp, and went to bed early in the winter.


I realized back then that I am no Ma Ingalls. She was far more patient and hardy than I am, or at least her daughter Laura never mentions Ma complaining or freaking out about the hardships of trying to live off the land. I did both on a semi regular basis so I guess she was made of stronger stuff than I am. But, I'm glad we did try out that life. I know my kids gained valuable lessons in those few years, and so did I. I still love living in the country, but truth be told, I really like having a dishwasher.


Anyway, I realized recently that my Boy Child was so young, he barely remembers the Little House series, and he will probably soon be too old to be interested in reading them with me. So, before the time is past, I borrowed Farmer Boy and we curled up together to read. I could see him relating to the character of Almanzo and his life with his animals, just as I'd hoped. The BB gun came out, and he spent hours target shooting at cans. He wanted to make old fashioned ice cream, candles and a yoke for his goats (who I suspect would not appreciate  it.) We haven't made the ice cream yet, and I think we'll pass on the goat yoke, but we did roll some bees wax candles. Ma used lard from a freshly butchered pig, but again, I'm no Ma. We also checked out the Little House Cookbook, and made some extremely tasty home-made lemonade. We attempted butter making, but learned that no amount of shaking turns 1% milk into creamy butter. Boy child even took the book off to read on the wood pile by himself a few times, and was so engrossed, he didn't even notice the chicken reading over his shoulder. He came away every time inspired for more good old fashioned fun.

One cool project that we got my dear husband (aka "Pa" for this post) involved in was making lanterns. I am not so handy with tools, so when my big ideas require heavy or sharp metal objects, I usually tell the kids to go ask their father in a really excited and smiley way, and most of the time, they are able to enlist his help.  For our lanterns, we used a couple of metal cans that were headed to the recycling center. They drew dots in the shape of their chosen design- a star for Boy Child and a peace sign for Girl Child- and placed them over a wooden dowel. It required some hands on holding from Pa while they smashed holes in the can with a hammer and nail. Another benefit of not being handy with tools is that my fingers were not at risk at any time during this project. Pa was not so lucky.

We were really happy with the results. I like it when craft projects end up being useful and not just more dust collectibles in an already cluttered "little house." We put in a couple of (store bought) tea candles and had a nice candle lit supper. I think these will look lovely on the porch for a winters evening celebration as well.

We also watched a couple of episodes of the TV show, which Girl Child was a little disappointed in since they really varied pretty strongly from the books. The whole experience of reliving the Little House books made me so glad for the simple country childhood my kids have had the chance to live. It also made me extremely grateful to live in the time that I do where a trip to town for supplies is 20 minutes in my station wagon rather than all day in a horse drawn one, and the fact that my supplies can include butter and ice cream that are ready to eat without hours of work on my part. So maybe I'm not just like Ma Ingalls, but I think we've found a really nice balance of old and new that includes a good amount of nature and technology. It all adds up to a pretty good life here in our little house.

Book Club

I love having a book club. A friend asked me to join her well established book club a few years back, and it's been a real treat for a social bookworm like me. The concept is simple. An assorted group of women who enjoys reading gathers regularly to enjoy good food and good conversation. We get together monthly, most of the time with no husbands and no kids (except of course nursing babies who get to go wherever their mamas do.) Our ages span probably 25 to 30 years and we've had nurses, teachers, stay at home moms, college students and more in the mix. The meal is a potluck, and what everyone is bringing is often a surprise. Yes, we have ended up with 6 desserts in one night, but there are worse things that can happen to a person. Last night we had fresh pasta with pesto, green salad, home made bread, berry pie and oatmeal raisin cookies. Oh, and plenty of wine too. We rotate as host, making the entree, choosing the book, and hoping most of the others enjoy it.

Although we do talk about the book of choice, and usually other books almost every meeting, we also just talk smack about all kinds of things, which is really nice to do once in a while, especially with no husbands or kids around. Mamas often have to censor themselves in the presence of their offspring, and it's nice to let loose every now and then. I like seeing the mamas with little ones get a break from their life of service, and I like learning from the wiser women who have seen more of life than I have. I like the debating and sharing, the laughing out loud and supporting each other in hard times. I like staying out late, eating feasts fit for a queen and gabbing into the night. And I like the books too.

A book club might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think most every mom could benefit from a girl's night out. However you pull it off, even if it's only once every couple of months, it does wonder for the mood and makes me a better mom and wife on my return home.