Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Evil Chickens

My son has been telling me for a while now that some of our chickens are vicious attack creatures, but I thought he was just being dramatic. We got rid of all the roosters, at least all the ones we knew of. I haven't heard crowing in months, and how mean and scary can a hen really be? I thought my little boy was just making a big deal about it because he didn't like having to feed the chickens and collect the eggs. I can't blame him for not wanting to deal with the birds- they do jump up and get excited when they're hungry, and a chicken coop is gross in any season, but it's particularly mucky in winter. So anyway, I dismissed his slight fear of the birds as a way to avoid unpleasant chicken chores.

Well, yesterday I got a first hand look at how evil those hens can be.

A little background...I have a special chicken named Miss Tequila Puffy Cheeks (no, she does not drink tequila, and I wasn't drinking it when she was named either. It's a long story, but I like the bird.) Anyway, she does not seem to think she is a chicken. She refuses to go to the coop, and instead wanders around looking for people or hanging out with the dogs on the front porch looking in the windows and wondering why she can't come in and enjoy the fire. My husband regularly threatens to let her enjoy the fire by roasting her over it for dinner. He dislikes the bird because she is not potty trained, and has made the unfortunate mistake of wandering into the garage (when my husband, who is the one who is so angry about it, left the door open all day) and pooping on the pool table. She also has a bad habit of pooping on the front porch. This is obviously not something I approve of, nor do I enjoy cleaning the messes, but it's not a capital offense.
So, the other day it was pouring, and Miss Tequila must have been feeling lonely because she did not want to be on any covered area besides the porch. Finally, after moving her 5 times, and having her come right back and poop, I decided to lock her in a big condominium style cage that she often sleeps in.
A few hours later, I was trying to feed and put the rest of the animals away, and a chicken named Chuckling (another long story, but basically, she's a chicken who was hatched and raised by a mother duck) would not go to the coop. She was watching Miss Tequila eat, and trying to find a way in to get some of that food. Well, it started to thunder and I was standing in the rain in leaky boots, and I got tired of trying to lure a crazy skittish chicken who was ignoring me. I didn't want to leave her out all night for the coyotes, so I just opened the door to Miss Tequila's condo and threw in some more corn. Chuckling hopped right in, I put everyone else away and headed in to dry off.

Well, the next morning, I kind of forgot that I had locked them in together, and didn't let them out until 9:00ish. That's when I discovered that evil Chuckling had viciously attacked Miss Tequila, plucking out feathers and making her comb bleed. My daughter, who loves animals, was furious at the unprovoked attack, and chased Chuckling down the hill to give her a scolding. We cleaned the wounds and applied some antibiotic ointment. It was pretty gross, but Miss Tequila was a trooper and afterward, we gave her a large serving of her favorite foods. Then, we created another condo for her in a sunny spot near the garden, as her main condo is a little shady in the mornings. We had to leave for town, and although my dogs are usually good about not harassing chickens, I was afraid a chicken with a bloody head wound who hops in the dogs bed might be a little too tempting. So, Miss Tequila was set up in style, and is recovering well. Animals are amazingly hard core about injuries. If any human I know had chunks of their forehead and neck pecked off, we'd certainly be laid up in bed moaning about the pain. She's out in the grass right now eating bugs and acting like nothing happened.

Now I've seen the light- my son was right that some of my chickens can indeed be evil. Maybe that's why Tequila never wants to go in the coop- the other chickens pick on her. It kind of reminds me of how some school children can be with bullying and picking on people who are different. Thankfully, she's OK, and I won't be forcing her to hang around with those mean hens again. As for the bully- I gave her and the rest of the hens a warning. Bad attitudes on this farm will get you a ticket to the stew pot.

13 comments:

  1. I am glad Miss Tequila is doing better - hens can be so vicious!
    It is amazing how certain ones have so much personality. They are so funny to watch!
    We have the same rule - behave and keep laying or you're soup! (That rule is for chickens only!)

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  2. The amount and variety of personality that a chicken can have never ceases to amaze me- they are very amusing (although some are fairly personality and brain free too.) I have a few favorite hens who have hatched lots of babies and are very entertaining, and I know I'll keep feeding them even if they quit laying. I figure they've already earned their lifetime keep. But they are definitely the special ones. If they have no personality and no eggs- well, the future doesn't look that good for them.

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  3. Aw, what a sweet chicken. I have two that follow me around and try to eat my shoe laces. The others just watch from the distance, cackling for them to come back to the flock now and again.

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  4. I often go out and hear my chickens whooping it up.

    One time Ron went into the coop to feed them and there was ALOT of blood all over the perch thingy. We didn't see anyone bleeding, no feathers, etc....weird!

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  5. Dana- beware of wearing open toed shoes- especially sequined sandals- very dangerous around poultry!
    Carolee- a friend of mine once heard a ruckus at her coop, and found all the hens circled around a rattle snake and pecking the heck out of it! Amazing that no one was hurt- well, except the snake- friends husband finished it off.

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  6. We have also had our share of chicken nastiness. I only named individuals when they made me mad ... "KFC", "Nando's" and "Chicken Licken" ... all South African fast food resturants! We culled and gave away most our trouble makers and there was peace in the yard.

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  7. That's hilarious. I got a good laugh out of that post. I like your writing. I also like chickens. They are funny and fun and sometimes evil! We had three for about six months. The one with the most personality (named Barak, pronounced with a chicken accent) also laid the most eggs and would also, along with number two chicken, pick on the one with the least personality. She was the one to get very sick and require and assisted death. It was very traumatic for me. I sent the other two back to their former home after that.

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  8. My teenage daughter has a scar on her nose & her belly from being attacked by a chicken! Now she enjoys eating chicken as a form of continued revenge. (And yes, she ate the chicken that attacked her!)

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  9. I love all these chicken stories!

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  10. how do u get hens into their hut!!???

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  11. I have chickens and they poop in our garage and on our porch. One of my chickens looks exactly like Miss Tequila.. and her name is Stripes. She has an extreme bread addiction. Whenever she hears the bread bag crinkle she's right there behind me. I call my chickens by crinkling the bread bag and they all come running. I had a very aggressive rooster that attacked my 100 pound English mastiff/Golden Retriever even.. If you have a rooster be sure to trim its spurs.. They could cause an infection.

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  12. I'm really glad that we no longer have any roosters. We had a couple of nice ones, and a couple of scary ones too. They all were noisy though, and I am not a morning person. More than once we ended up with unplanned chicks because one of the hens hid a nest of eggs. It's nice not to have to worry about that anymore, and to just have the ladies.

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  13. Chickens are so funny when they hear the food coming! I am glad that we no longer have any roosters. We had a couple of nice ones and a couple of scary ones too. But they were all noisy and I am not a morning person. It's a lot more peaceful with just the girls.

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