Friday, June 3, 2011

Control

Maybe it's the fact that I am clinging to the very edge of my 30's, or maybe it's that I now have a teen and a tween child, but whatever the reason, I have been thinking a lot about my life and its direction lately. A little conscious decision making about what I want to work on, change or improve is probably better than a full fledged mid-life crisis, although I may save that option for in a few years.

For now, I'm discovering quite a bit on this little journey of exploration. I've also been coming across a lot of interesting resources, like this great list I found of "50 Things You Can Control Right Now" by Lori Deschene.

I hate to say it because I like to think of myself as an easy going laid back kind of gal, but maybe, just maybe I have a little tiny bit of a thing for control. Certain people, who shall remain nameless, have weighed in their opinion about what they perceive as my controlling tendencies. In my defense, I think this person has an unwarranted paranoia. All of the "honey do" items are honestly not an attempt to control their free time, but rather they are actually just ideas that could make life more pleasant.

Anyway, I know I have far less of a need to control things than some of my friends, but hey, let's face it, sometimes it's nice to have things running your way. I think a lot of moms like to run their own show, and maybe even more so amongst homeschooling moms. So, I know I'm not alone.

In any case, when I saw the title of this article my eyebrows shot up, and I was instantly interested in finding 50 things that I actually could control. It's a little embarrassing how excited I was about wrangling a whole 50 things to be my way!

Then I read the list. It's all about realizing the things that you actually have the ability to change, with the thought that if you focus on those, you can let go of all of those other things that you can't really do anything about. Of course, logically, you can't control other people, what they do, or how they act. The things you can control are your own actions and reactions. We all know this in our hearts, but thinking about it is both liberating and heavy. On the one hand, you can let go of a lot of frustration, and on the other, you have to accept responsibility for a lot of things. Some are easier- like smiling and saying "thank you" and they do have a big impact. Others require more effort- like exercising, controlling negative thinking or taking care of clutter. But in the end, Lori is right about most of these things. They are things in our lives that we can control.

So, what do you think of the list? See anything on there that would make your home life happier? Anything you wish you could control, but can't? How do you deal with control issues?

1 comment:

  1. I tried to access the link to Lori's list today, and it seems they are in the process of transferring to another server. Sorry for the inconvenience. It's a great list and still worth bookmarking to check out when they get back online. In the meantime, I am remembering that I can control how often I smile, say thank you, and choose joy. THANK YOU for reading my blog! :-)

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