Saturday, May 5, 2012

Some People Hate Children

It's one of those things you know, but probably choose not to think about. Sometimes it seems obvious by the dirty looks you get when accompanied by a tired, whining child in public, but it's not often that someone comes out and says it.

I would hope that most people actually like children, especially those who choose to have them or be around them. I think often times, the disapproving glances are by people who either haven't been around kids in a while and don't remember theirs ever acting up, or by those who just aren't enjoying whatever loud child's behavior is interrupting their day. It's not kids in general they dislike- it's public tantrums.

But, there are a few people out there who for some reason other just hate children. I know because I came across one in Seattle in a mall. I was with a friend who has a large family and I had my own 2 kids along as well. We had been dragging 7 kids around the city for hours and hours, through miles and miles of attractions, all on little food and no rest. It was hard enough on the big kids and adults, but for the little ones, it was a mammoth day.

Normally, neither my friend or I would recommend such long and hard days for kids under 5, but we only had a couple of days to visit and a lot to see. The city is easier to get around in if you just park and use public transportation and your own feet. So, coffee for me and kind words for the little ones and we barreled on through the day.

As we climbed yet another set of stairs, and made our way through a massive crowd, one of the younger kids began to whine softly. This was far from a full blown kid fit. It was more of a whimper that he was tired. His mom was packing his two younger siblings- one on the front and one on the back- in a sling. I was about to tell him that I'd give him a lift on my back as soon as we got through the mass of people when a very unpleasant young woman in her early twenties- a large woman with a crew cut and hard features who looked like she could be a bouncer at a bar- moved right past and said plainly "UGG- I hate children."

For some reason, in the moment, this made me laugh out loud. I just looked at her, shook my head and laughed. I kept moving and keeping track of the little guy in the midst of the sea of bodies until we broke into a clearing.

When I told my friend, she was mortified and offended. I was too, but I was also semi- amused that this seemingly bitter and miserable woman seemed to think it was acceptable or even cool to state her opinion. I mean, who says that kind of thing? We wondered if the woman also hated puppies.

My two semesters of psychology classes kicked in and I came up with possible theories about her aversion to young people, but none of them were nice and I'm not qualified to make them anyway. Besides, unlike some people, I try to occasionally use my filter when it comes to saying what I think.

Maybe she was just having a really bad day and didn't mean to say it so loudly, although it seemed like an almost boastful voice she was using, like hating kids was going to make her popular or something. Maybe someday she'll grow up and look back, repentant at what a mean young thing she was. I know I have a few instances I look back on and cringe myself. If she doesn't change her mind, I just hope she never has kids and keeps her toxic attitudes away from them.

Has anyone else ever run into someone who blatantly expressed their dislike for something so personal as your kids? How would you handle such a thing?


  1. I remember a few years ago, we were staying in a popular hotel in Virginia Beach. My friend was also there with her children and while our husbands' worked together we would go out and see the sights with our kids. When I checked out one of the front desk attendants commented that she'd noticed that we had been in and out a lot during our stay and did we see everything in the area that we had hoped to? Pleasant enough. I said something to the effect that I was surprised that she had noticed us and she explained that we had so many children it was hard to notice! I couldn't believe it- my friend and I only have 3 children each. I almost retorted that she needed to meet some of my friends that have MUCH larger families. We ended up staying there again a few weeks later and I overheard her complaining about one of the rooms- apparently they had children and she just couldn't stand children. :( I thought that was very rude. Especially to voice it in front of a customer. Just not good for business.

  2. I am so sorry you all were exposed to such awfulness. What a sad person that woman must be.

    Well, sadly a children's librarian that talked w/co-workers at the library, loudly enough to be heard by parents and children alike, stated how she was NEVER having children EVER! She gave looks of discust as patrons walked into the children's area of the library, especially at those of us parents with younger children. Thankfully she was not the children's librarian for much more than a year. We avoided the library the days/hours she worked and just simply skipped all the children's events that year. Yep, she was in charge of those. Really crazy.

    Again, sadly we have neighbors that actually said "We don't like children." And yes, they have one child that is an adult now. He never comes to visit. Go figure. Hmmmmmm, how odd. Realizing now that the wife of the neighbors couple is a retired librarian. How weird. Never thought of that connection between these two different librarians. We simply avoid this neighbor, which is fairly easy since we have children and so they also avoid us. LOL

    Ah well. I feel so sorry for people that do not like children simply because children are some of the most wonderful people ever. :)

    1. Yikes- a children's librarian who doesn't like children?! Sounds like a life of misery all around- for her and the poor families who frequent her library. I've met a few teachers who don't seem to like kids either, which I find odd. Luckily, most people who work with them do like them huh? And I agree- kids are some of the most wonderful people ever!

  3. "a large woman with a crew cut and hard features who looked like she could be a bouncer at a bar"

    If the woman had been small and sufficiently feminine, would you have included a physical description? Her appearance had nothing to do with her crappy attitude.

  4. I think I would have mentioned whatever details I recalled about her in any case. I have no problem with her size or with her haircut, and of course I don't think those are why she hates kids. But her face did have a pretty unpleasant look stuck on it, and she overall seemed like she was in the mood to intimidate, and chose to do so by saying she hated kids right next to a 5 year old.
    Maybe she was just having a bad day or maybe she's just bitter.

  5. Remember that it IS possible that this woman will later on change her mind, perhaps by your reaction.When I was 18 or so I couldn't imagine having children, even wanted to make it possible that I couldn't have any.

    Now I have 6 and I love them so dearly.

  6. You're totally right Kat. I know I certainly have a few cringe-worthy moments of my own.


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