Just What I Needed- The $100 Start Up

I pulled into the driveway after a long and hard day. Waiting for my Boy Child to open the gate, I just hoped he'd hurry. I was exhausted- both physically and mentally.

It had been one of those days when all the little things that cost money started adding up into a big ugly pile in my lap. I may be a master frugalista, but life still requires cash, and sometimes you need a little more than others. This summer had a lineup of things-from fun stuff like camping trips to the necessary and big stuff like a newer reliable car to get my family around- all of which would require more cash.

Being an industrious kind of gal, I perused the local job boards. Ugh. It was awful. Have you looked at employment sites lately? In the area I live, the lack of suitable jobs for me was totally discouraging, but not as much as the micro salary range of the jobs I did see.

While lamenting my dismal prospects, Boy Child came up and showed me the hole he had worn in his shoes, and Girl Child let me know that she had outgrown her swimsuit. It continued like this with things raining down- dental visits, vet visits, some wonderful opportunities that were great deals- some just things we'd just need to deal with whether we liked it or not- but all requiring me to think about how to round up money.

Driving home, I was thinking about how miserable I would be in some of the jobs that were available, and wondered how I'd live on one. It was a scary and overwhelming thought, and wasn't helping me with my dilemma at all.

So, when Boy Child found a box at the gate, I perked up and ripped it open before we even got to the house.

Don't you just love when things show up in life exactly when you need them?

It was a brand new copy of Chris Guillebeau's new book- The $100 Startup. The subtitle was like a message just for me- "Reinvent the way you make a living, do what you love, and create a new future." 

I'm only a few pages into it so far, and a full review will come later, but I can already see that this is just the inspirational kind of thinking I needed. Rather than resorting to soul sucking and poorly paying work, I'm brainstorming ways to use my creative talents to come up with something else. Whoohooo!

I have no problem crediting a higher power here- Thank God I got this book right now, before my mind spiraled into gloomy and dark visions of minimum wage and crummy apartments in the hood. (Yes...I know...that's a bit dramatic, but that's how I tend to be.)

If you're not familiar with Guillebeau, you simply must check out his Art of Non-Conformity. He's a go getter with a fabulous outlook on life, who actually inspired my kids and I to tackle our plan to explore all 50 states before the oldest is 18. I can't wait to see what ideas come out of this book.

I'd also love to hear what creative and fun ways other people are coming up with to fund their life adventures. Inspiration is contagious and I certainly would love to catch and spread more of it. So....any ideas to share?

Tidepools, Bridges and Locks

Seattle is a city where we could have easily spent a lot more time than we had, and it's definitely worth a second blog post. There is so much to see and do- and much of it is free or cheap which is exactly the way we like to roll whenever possible. (parking was an exception- it's quite pricey.) We decided to spend our last day checking out things just outside the city itself.

I'm a tropics kind of gal, and it was way too chilly for me to head out on any boats, which would be fun in some other, warmer season. Still, there was plenty of other fun to be had near the water.

Tidepooling was high on the list for us. (Girl Child has a strong interest in Marine Biology, and the rest of us just love the ocean and it's critters.)

We found an isolated beach with the tide about halfway down, and bundled up to see what we could see. The fact that it was painfully cold may have cut our explorations a little short, but we were able to see many sea stars, some anemones, and lots of crabs and birds.

My friend's children were much hardier when it comes to cold than mine and were able to romp barefoot and in shorts. My brood was bundled and shivering the whole time, but we were glad we made the stop nevertheless. When the fog rolled out, we could practically see to Canada.

The next stop was going to be Ballard Locks, which were kind of like a mini Panama Canal- a series of waterways to help boats navigate from the Puget Sound into Lake Washington.

On the way, we passed over a cool old drawbridge just in time to watch it raise up and let a boat under. Traffic stopped for dozens of cars and we watched a lone boat pass under, but the sun was momentarily shining and no one seemed to mind the pause in their day. My kids thought it was cool and we speculated on how the bridge operates. Several people seem to be working full time operating the bridge as well, so I'm sure it has a higher boat traffic at other times, or it would be a pretty inefficient operation. In any case, it was something we don't see every day so we enjoyed it.

The locks had a bunch of beautiful sculptures, and we arrived at the perfect time to see them do their thing and raise the water level to let a couple of boats through. You could cross a walking bridge to a visitors center in a beautiful botanical garden with flowers blooming everywhere.

This place had some special significance as far as Army Corps of Engineers Projects and also had a car drive into it at one time. We actually read all sorts of interesting tidbits about the history of the place, how it was built and the geology of the area, but I was so captivated by the gorgeous colors of flowers and contrasts of clouds in the sky and the public art that I remember that more than anything else. I suppose that's just how my brain works.

Fortunately, there will be no test for any of us, and I'm willing to accept that we all learned whatever we needed to about it.

From there, we said goodbye to our friends the fabulous hosts and hit the road south towards California. The kids loved the city of Seattle, and so did I. From what my friend says, the homeschooling scene is happening, and by the classes and activities her kids told me about, it sounded like a fabulous community to me.

Girl Child especially was glad to be near the Pacific and to see all the wonderful public art, and Boy Child was impressed with the numerous skateboard parks we came across. I hope we can visit again someday, and explore the Puget Sound and the many islands that fill it (hopefully on warmer days.) For this trip, it was as far as we could go, and we'd have plenty more to see on the way home.

Seattle

We had been driving through the cold rain for hours when the sun finally broke through. It was nearly dark, but we were still glad to see clear sky, and to turn off the windshield wipers at last. The Pacific Northwest isn't known for warm weather, but this was farther from springlike than I had hoped for. We'd been in the car for too long, but decided to keep going- to make it to our friends home before bed.

It was late by the time we arrived, but all 5 of her children came out to greet us. Inside we met the dogs, pet rats, and even a hedge hog. We hadn't seen these friends in years, and the family had grown by a few, but my friend still had that rare patience and grace in the midst of whatever crazy chaos life (and children) throws at her.

They had generously offered to share their home as a base to spend a few days and explore the city. She also shared the advice she was given upon moving to Seattle. Don't let the rain stop you from going out. If you wait for it to stop, by the time you get your car keys, it will start back up again. I'm glad we listened because the weather changed from sun to wind to sprinkles to hail within the course of an hour, and continued that way for our entire stay. You just have to wear layers and deal with it.

Day 1 was mammoth. We started off by finding a giant troll under the Freemont Bridge. (Yes, we scout out odd tourist attractions like this ahead of time.)

Then, it was to the famous Space Needle and surrounding park. We spent a few hours exploring sculptures, shops and the Pacific Science Center.

We took the monorail (on which we almost lost one small child- but we found him quickly) to Pikes Place and where we were entertained by street musicians galore. One in particular sang songs of his painful childhood memories of broccoli for dinner, while hula hooping.

The shops were full of inspiring and creative things made by local artists that gave me countless crafty ideas of my own.

A trip to Seattle wouldn't be complete without seeing the Gum Wall. It's an entire wall on the side of this building has been covered in used chewing gum. It's definitely one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen, but strangely artistic when the light hit all the colors. The kids talked me into buying some gum so we could add to the wall, and I almost heaved, but I did it. (I then promptly doused all of our hands in sanitizer.)

I liked many things about Seattle- but especially was how clean it is. (well, not the troll or the gum wall) For a major city, it just doesn't have the level of filth that LA does though. The public transportation was great too but the parking was painfully pricey, which encouraged me to plan well and just skip driving if possible.

We could easily have spent a week in the city and not run out of things to see and do, but alas- we only had a few days. Naturally, we made the best of it and just crammed in as much as we could. The kids had natural youthful energy, and I was in the land of Starbucks.

Tea Time

A young homeschooling friend recently had an assignment for his online Literature class that wasn't the easiest thing for an 11 year old boy. He had to throw a tea party. Not the political kind, but after reading and discussing "Little Women" he had to host an authentic Victorian tea party.

That's not exactly every boy's dream assignment, but fortunately for the young fellow, he knew some willing kids who would participate, which meant arriving in costume and character, and trying their best to use suitable manners. Girl Child had been studying the Civil war, so this all went along with things in our little homeschool quite splendidly.

I had not read the book "Little Women" in years, and my kids hadn't read it at all. We didn't have time to reread it before the party, so we resorted to borrowing the movie from the library. Unfortunately, it was the 1994 version, which was I'm sorry to say, just painful, and didn't make the best impression of it for my Boy Child.

Nevertheless, my kids are good sports and we attempted to rummage up costumes. My Boy Child was the hardest as he doesn't really do "dress clothes" but we at least found an old button up shirt from some past performance and paired it with black jeans and a vest. The skater shoes weren't exactly authentic Victorian vintage, but were the best we could do.

The day of the party came and the guests all looked lovely. The food was elegant, and their manners were impressive. They even showed some restraint with the sugar cubes in their tea without being asked (or at least they seemed to.)

Tea was followed by croquet. At this point I wondered when the manners would slack to modern times, but they maintained fairly well for the most part (although one mallet handle get broken, no people or animals were injured in the making of the tea party.)

I was quite proud of the young fellow who put it all together, and even made figgy pudding to serve.

Most of all, I'm proud to know such an assorted group of kids who haven't been crammed into a one size fits all mold and are still open to having fun while learning and trying new things.

Spring Extravaganza

What could be more fun than a rain soaked and activity filled weekend with an eclectic batch of homeschoolers from all over the state of California? Well...less rain would've helped, but despite the weather, my family had a great time in the Bay Area at the Homeschool Association of California Spring Extravaganza last weekend.

We've been to campouts and conferences with folks from this group in the past, and always had a great time. This event was not too far from home, at a Boy scout Campground in some really steep hills in Berkeley, and super affordable, so we jumped on the chance to go.  When we signed up for a camp spot in February, we were having fabulous near 70 degree sunny days. By the time the actual event arrived in late March, it was 40 degrees and pouring rain.

Luckily, we weren't the only crazy campers. A few other families, who are much hardier at camping life than me were there when we arrived. I'm fine with a tent, as long as it's dry, Oh- and I hate being cold too but thankfully, we had tarps, a surdy tent and really warm bags.

Even better, there was a lodge building, and although it had signs everywhere telling us we couldn't sleep in it, there was nothing saying we couldn't hang out a goof off until 2 AM. We arrived on Friday late afternoon, and were able to get our tent set up under the redwoods before it started raining. Our fellow campers attempted building a fire, but it was still just too cold, which prompted us to escape into the warmth of the lodge. It was great that the group of about 8 kids got to connect on a smaller scale before everyone else arrived.

The next day, the actual extravaganza took place. It was an all day event with a little something for everyone. Boy Child enjoyed the foam weapon battle while Girl Child and her BFF enjoyed making custom flip flops and the clothing swap-o-rama (participants bring clothes they no longer want and pick out others, which can be altered and turned into new things with the sewing machines, trims, paints and other things on sight.)

We all made Franstuffies (no longer loved stuffed animals are separated into parts and reassembled into new mix and match creations.) I'm glad that the dismantling was done ahead of time, or I may have found it disturbing, but instead, we all found it fun.

The evening was a dance and although the kids hadn't wanted to go ahead of time, they changed their minds and wanted to spend more time with their new friends. The event ended and was cleaned up by 11pm, and most of the people left for home or hotels. The campers stayed (and hung out in the lodge until the wee hours again) while the kids taught each other dance moves and played hysterical and entertaining games including ultimate ninja, a strange version of duck, duck, goose, wheelbarrow races. I bummed free wifi.

Even though it rained solid for over 36 hours, our tent didn't leak. Thankfully, it let up again in the morning while we packed up. We were exhausted and muddy and the drive home took longer than usual since I drank the worlds largest Dr Pepper to stay awake and kept having to hit rest stops.

The kids slept till almost 11 yesterday, and are already asking when we can do it again.

Trashy Art- Washed Ashore

I'm the first to admit that plastic is an incredibly useful material. I'm extremely glad that we have it to wrap products in so they aren't all exposed and covered in filth, and really can't imagine life without it- but the saturation of plastic everywhere I turn is also a major pet peeve of mine. I mean why does the cashier at the grocery store try to put my bag of potatoes into another bag? They're already in a bag for goodness sakes!

It really drives me nuts to see plastic bags that fly out of the can on trash day, because I know that unfortunately, a lot of them wind up in the ocean.

I've found all sorts of interesting plastic trash, much of it from far away places while beach combing with my kids.  We try to pick up what we can and make sure it makes it to a garbage can, but an artist is Oregon is doing much cooler things with the trash on the shores of her native beaches. She's using it to create some pretty spectacular art.

A few months back, my kids and I went to the Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito, California where we got to learn about all sorts of things, including ocean garbage. As you can imagine, the plastic that ends up in the ocean is often a bummer for the critters that make their homes there. Sometimes they swallow it, and sometimes they get entangled in it, and it rarely works out well for the animal. 

These folks do some wonderful rescue and rehabilitation work with marine birds and animals. Over the years, this group has treated over 17,000 animals including seals, sea lions, whales, dolphins and other species- many of which are threatened or endangered, and many of which are sick or dying from something having to do with plastic. My Girl Child is very interested in Marine Biology and it was very inspirational as well as educational for her to learn about the work being done. 

While there we got to see the very cool art work of Angela Pozzi. The huge sculptures of ocean creatures in her Washed Ashore exhibit were made exclusively from plastics picked up on the beaches of Oregon, and they are amazing. Her team of volunteers picked up 3.5 tons of plastic garbage from a 20 mile stretch of beach and churned out 18 gigantic sculptures from it. The woman certainly has vision and her giant fish, seal, jellyfish, and starfish all make quite a visual statement. It's now on a global tour, and is quite worth checking out if it comes anywhere near you. If not, the website is also interesting.

If you happen to be on the Oregon Coast, Pozzi's group even does trash art workshops. How fun would that be? It all makes me want to go home and make some trash art myself, but I haven't quite got the vision (although I do have all kinds of junk around here that could probably qualify as trash.)

 A few years ago, we had a "Mad Toy Laboratory" party which was kind of along those lines, but on a smaller scale. We took old and unloved plastic kid toys, dismantled them, and with hot glue guns created new artwork. We had sculptures with Barbie heads and muscle man arms sticking out of the side of race cars among other things. We also learned that hot glue really is hot, and several children went home with burns.

Does anyone have any fun ideas for trashy art type projects for Earth Day this year? I'd love to hear about them. 

The Meal

Back in January, I chose the word "Explore" for my word of the year, and since we're two months into 2012, it's probably time to evaluate and see if I'm going anywhere with it.

So far, my exploring has been mostly been focused on art, writing, and money money schemes that don't include having a regular full time job (all completely legal and morally responsible, of course) I just finished a mini little art project from the folks over at the Art House Co op in Brooklyn- the same folks who inspired me to do the Traveling Sketchbook Project in January.

This current project was called "The Meal" and the idea was that people all over the globe get together at the same time to share a meal from wherever they are, and then take a picture of themselves, and their meal. The Art House people will then create an exhibition of the "global snack" photos.

The set time was noon in New York, but 3 hours earlier where I was. 9 AM isn't exactly early for me, but let's just say I prefer to avoid public appearances in the morning, and that includes photos. Timeliness isn't my strong point anyway.

Well, every time I tried shooting the photo with myself in it, I somehow captured that unsightly inner arm view- you know, the pale, wobbly, and very unflattering one that proves I should probably start some sort of upper body strength training before my arm flaps accidentally whack someone when they're flopping around unrestrained. It was very disturbing, indeed.

Anyway, we do a lot of reciprocal homeschooling around here, meaning the kids teach me as well as my teaching them. My amazing Girl Child taught me to use the timer on the camera so I could avoid the arm angle, and still get myself smiling with my meal. But by this time, I had cold coffee and low blood sugar grumpiness and still hadn't eaten. Ahhh- the things we endure for art!


Due to my hunger and caffeine withdrawals, my smile looked forced, and rather scary, and in the end, I still liked the photo of just the food. At least it was yummy when I finally got to eat it.

What creative endeavors are you up to this week?

Sketchbook Mania- A Tale of Procrastination

Have you heard of the Traveling Sketchbook Project? It's a brilliant plan where anyone, anywhere can order a blank sketchbook, fill it with whatever artsy medium suits their fancy and send it back to be a part of a world traveling exhibit of artists sketchbooks. They even have ideas of themes as a jumping off point.

I loved the idea, and ordered my book just before the deadline last fall, choosing "Uncharted Waters" as my theme. It just seems to go well with the unknown future, antsy, restless, can't believe I turned 40 type of energy I've been feeling.

It came in November, and while I was excited to open the package, I was confused at how flat it was. I ripped it open right there at the mailbox, and to be honest, I was a little disappointed. It was small, thin and just so very plain. Of course the idea is that as the artist, I get to dress it up, but it just seemed so little and plain Jane.

I set it on my shelf where it sat, neglected and alone for 2 1/2 months. Poor thing.

In my defense, winter is a busy time full of holidays and celebrations and my craftiness was being used up on other endeavors instead of the sketchbook.

About two weeks before the deadline to mail the finished book back, I started thinking about the project. I had already paid, and there are no refunds. Since I'm incredibly cheap thrifty, I didn't want my money to go to waste. Plus, they blacklist you if you sign up and don't finish. I had to maintain my good name, and honestly, as soon as opened my mind to the project, the ideas started to flow.

Nine days before it was due, I actually started. First thing, a purple velvet cover, during the attaching of which, I learned about spray adhesives, and probably lost a few brain cells in the process.

For the last week, I've been sketching, painting and gluing like a mad woman. I've torn up my all of my crafty areas and made a giant mess of my home. Paint, stickers, fabric and trim are spread across almost every flat surface in view. I discovered how amazing watercolor pencils are, how helpful gesso is, and how quickly super glue dries things to your fingers. I also realized that I still like sparkly things, unicorns and rainbows as much as I did when I was 8 years old.

"Uncharted Waters" represents the future to me, and since young people are the future, I recruited my kids and the group of homeschooling kids that I do art workshops with to do postcard sized paintings to glue in. They were a natural fit and didn't let me down with their awesome work. I also scored by getting 9 pages out of the way.

Now, I'm down to the wire. The sketchbook needs to be in the mail tomorrow, and still has a couple of pages  to finish. The whole thing has been a mad dash, but it's also been incredible fun. Waiting until the last minute is not nearly as bad when the job to be done is one you enjoy. In this case, I've had a blast playing with new mediums and exploring things in the book. If it had been something like taxes, no amount of coffee in the world would have made those late nights any fun for me.

I hope to do it again next year, but I also hope to be a little more organized..

I wonder how many other people procrastinate as badly as I do? Part of the problem is probably just that I try to cram so many things in. How do you all handle fitting in all the things you really want to do?

As for me, I should be painting rather than typing right now.

Teacher Vs. Facilitator

I've been thinking lately about what exactly makes a good teacher, and it's not a degree or certificate, that’s for sure. People who've earned those pieces of paper may have gained all sorts of knowledge, but it certainly doesn't guarantee that they'll be any good at teaching. 

I would guess that most of us have had teachers who were awesome, who loved their jobs and the material they were teaching, who wanted to share that love with their students. But, most likely, we’ve also all had teachers who simply should have been doing something else besides torturing students and killing any interest or joy in learning- the ones who don't even seem to like students, but seem determined to spread misery. 

When a family makes the choice to homeschool, the parents are often questioned as to their capability to teach, as if having that piece of paper is the only way they could handle teaching their kid. The fact that they studied fashion or business in college, or...heaven forbid...they didn't go to college, makes them incapable of sharing any other knowledge. 

The pressure comes from within too. Years ago, a good friend told me she "didn't feel qualified" to homeschool her child. The friend had an engineering degree and her child was three years old. Seriously.....it was preschool, as in colors and counting, not rocket science for goodness sakes. Like most kids, this one was sent off to professionals, and fortunately most of them have been decent so far.

Other kids I know have been subjected to teachers who've humiliated and labeled them, and pretty much convinced them that they're stupid. The kids aren't stupid, just bored or wiggley or interested in something besides what the teacher is trying to make them learn. I’ve been pretty judgmental about bad teachers in the past, but I also think that a large part of the problem is in the very system itself.

Having sat on both sides of the teachers desk, I know without a doubt that the students I enjoy most are those who actually have an interest and want to be there. 

Excitement is certainly contagious - if the teacher is excited, the sentiment is likely to spread. The key to it all is interest though. If the students genuinely don't want to be there, but they feel forced into it, then they aren’t going to learn in any real, meaningful or long term way. So, in that scenario, what exactly is the point? It's a waste of everyone's time.

It's great when a teacher wins over reluctant sudents, although it's a lot easier when the students actually wanted to be involved in the first place.

When "students" start out uninterested, and remain so, well... everyone involved (teacher, other students, and the one who doesn’t give a hoot) would all be better off if that reluctant person chose to spend their time someplace else. The trouble in many instances is that the student does not have any choice- they have to be there. The thing is... you can sometimes force a person into a learning environment, but you cannot force them to learn. Even if you succeed in coercing them into memorizing facts or passing a test, you can’t “make them” remember long term, nor can you make them care.

It's not just with kids either. Besides homeschooling my own kids and teaching a few homeschool classes, I also teach Childbirth Ed and Breastfeeding classes to adults. Most of my students are willing- at least the moms, some of the dad's were drug there, and you can tell. I try to make it fun for them, and generally win them over, but once in a while, they just aren't into it. Personally, not to be rude, but if they don't want to stay, I prefer if they skip it then. If someone is coerced into coming and spends the class texting, rolling their eyes and sighing the whole time, it's not exactly joyful for me, or the person sitting next to them.

I've realized that I prefer to be in a role of facilitator rather than teacher. The difference isn’t just the wording. It’s also the attitude. I don’t feel the need for any of my "students" to take an exact piece of knowledge from the material. I don’t need to test them to see if they learned what I wanted them too. Instead, I’m interested in what was important to them--- what they did learn. 

I want to know what my students, whether children or adults, are interested in and to help them find the answers. We all take away different bits and pieces based on what’s important and matters to us. I want them to get concepts and understand processes- to question and think. I don’t want them to just fill in bubbles and parrot what I tell them.

In my recent experiences of teaching kids other than my own, I enjoyed it so much that I briefly considered getting a teaching credential someday. Then, I thought about the hoops and constraints and frustrations of trying to force feed prescribed material to non willing kids. No thanks. I don't think it's a system I'd fit into very well. 

I think I'll stick with being a freestyle facilitator. I can bring interesting material and have fun sharing ideas and projects of my choosing. I have the flexibility to adapt and change things based on the individuals and the group I'm working with. The students enjoy the time, and so do I. 

For parents who are afraid you aren't qualified to teach, you might try facilitating instead. 

Yes, yes, I know that at some point there are things they "have" to learn. But if you can be flexible on when and how, and trust the students, you might have a lot more fun, and be amazed at what everyone picks up in the process.

Search for Sasquatch

You just never know what is going to inspire a group of kids, but if you let them run with it, the results are often very entertaining.

About a month ago, we were visiting a friend who showed us some clips from some rather, well... "interesting" TV shows. They seemed to be sort of back woods reality TV, featuring real life characters who search for bigfoot, wrestle giant snakes in the bayou, and things like that. I was amazed that this would be TV worthy, but I guess with a billion channels, you have to stretch things like the meaning of worthy.

Well, the kids all found the whole thing hilarious. Now, we all live in "the country" and are familiar with mountain folks, but we couldn't tell if the people on these shows really acted that way in everyday life, or if they were just hamming it up to be on TV. Either way, the kids found it completely entertaining and were inspired to create a spoof series of films along the lines of what they saw.

We had a sleepover, and after staying up until the wee hours eating about 12,000 pounds of leftover Halloween candy, they came up with a loose script. In the morning, they set out with camera in hand. I didn't see them for hours, but did hear some occasional "Bigfoot howls."

The result was the following three minutes of humor that I hope you'll take the short time to watch (and comment):

Of course I found this all rather amusing, but I think it's also worth noting that the kids learned quite a bit from the process. Scriptwriting, acting, character development, plot (well, sort of) and all the filming, editing etc that went into it. There was a lot of teamwork happening, and they managed it all without any adult intervention. Some might say they were playing all day (which they were) but I contend that they were educating themselves as well, and that it was a worthwhile way to spend a morning with friends.

None of the kids involved had used the movie making computer program before either, but they figured it all out on their own, and had a great time doing it. They also learned that wind sounds louder on video than in real life, and it makes your dialogue hard to understand, but alas, you can't control nature. Now they're on the hunt for a way to drown that background noise out.

Since the first episode, the kids have made two more. They are hysterical with their twisting and turning, nonsensical plot, and the wind is still giving them grief. Nevertheless, I love watching their inspirations come to life, and can't wait to see what they come up with next.

Complaints

An old acquaintance of mine posted on Facebook the other day about an interesting challenge she, along with her yoga class buddies, are taking part in.  The goal is to stop complaining for 21 days. Of course, I immediately responded with how much I love this idea, but I also acknowledged that it seemed fairly unlikely that I could pull it off. I almost went on to complain about how hard it would be to not complain, but I deleted that part before I hit enter.

She definitely planted a seed in my mind though. I’ve been thinking a lot about complaining, and how much I dislike listening to and being around people who do it excessively. They’re depressing and negative and just suck the joy right out of a room. Then, I started thinking about how much I complain.

Since self analysis isn’t really all that fun, and it looked like it could be rather unflattering in this case, I decided to do what I always do.  Start googling.  I read that most people complain 15 to 30 times a day. When I think about it, I could probably complete that quota before noon, especially if I’m gabbing with my friends. If I get on a roll about things that annoy me, I can probably shoot off 15 complaints in an hour, easy. 

I like to think that I focus a lot of my complaining into sarcastic humor, which is better than just plain old negative complaining, since it often results in laughter, but is it really any better? It’s still negative and unpleasant, and it puts my focus on what’s wrong, not what’s right.

I know complaining effects me and my loved ones in unpleasant ways, which is why I love the idea of stopping so much. It rarely makes anyone feel better, well except maybe for a few minutes while you initially vent, but in the long run, the more I complain, the more I end up focusing on the down sides of my life, and that really just makes me less happy.

As I was sitting here debating ways to cut back on my own complaining, one of my dogs came over wagging and wanting to go out. In getting up to open the door, I spilled the entire contents of my fresh, hot, milky, sugary coffee all over the bed, soaking through every layer of blankets, and losing my delicious cup of morning yum. If that’s not easy fodder for complaining, I don’t know what is. It is taking all of my morning reserves to just let it go, and throw the blankets in a pile to be washed. Ranting isn’t going to get the laundry done, right?

That’s another thing about complaining. A lot of the time, we’re moaning about things we have no power to change. What’s the point in that? Misery? When it comes to things we do have the power to change, we’d probably be more successful in changing them if we actually did something besides sitting around whining. I could be complaining about my coffee and the blankets, or I could be getting a new cup and starting the washer.It depends on what I want more- to prolong my misery or get caffeinated. I'm going with choice #2.

 
Although I’m pretty darn good at complaining myself, I know I’m not the only one. As a culture, we’re fairly addicted to it. We like to compete about who has the busier schedule or the worse day. Once one person starts, everyone around starts groaning about their own woes. When you think about it, all that clinging to misery and pride in the greatest hardships probably qualifies as a mental health disorder. Of course, I’m not a mental health professional or in any way trained to make a diagnosis, but it seems pretty crazy to hang on to unhappiness. Maybe it’s just easier than dealing with taking responsibility.

 There’s even a website devoted to trying to make a complaint free world. They offer widgets to help you track your progress and bracelets you can wear as a reminder, switching wrists every time you complain, with the goal of going 21 days without switching. Again, that sounds mammoth to me, especially when you realize that every time you mess up, you start your 21 days over. Seriously!?

Like most things, the theory of not complaining is much easier than the reality of it. The woman who started me thinking about this with her challenge said that she feels it’s mostly about awareness. I agree that’s a great start. Just being aware of our thoughts, words, and intentions makes a huge difference because all of those things add up to subconsciously program who we are.

As a mom of ever growing kids, this really matters. They’ve always paid attention and reflected what was going on around them, but the older they get, the more they really watch and analyze the things the adults around them say and do. My attitude, positive or negative really sets the tone for the whole family. I know the more I complain or the grumpier I am, the worse off everyone around me is. It’s true that if mama isn’t happy, nobody is going to be.

As usual, for parents, it’s about so much more than just us. The fate of our households rest on our attitudes (no pressure or anything.) I'd love to hear how other people deal with complaining in their families- from both the adults and the kids.

I don’t think I’m quite ready to do a 21 day complaint free challenge- the thought actually gives me heart palpitations and immediately furrowed my brow. If my forehead crease gets any deeper, I’ll have even more to whine about, so I’m trying to avoid the stress of the “big challenge.” I am however up for being aware, and trying to avoid complaining thoughts and words as much as I can. I’m considering trying to tally all of my complaints for a day, just to see where I’m at at. 

I’m sharing the idea with my kids, but I think that even if they don’t consciously attempt it, there will still be a ripple effect from any positive strides I’m able to pull off. That's my positive thinking side in action. On the other hand, I'm still skeptical that I could be totally complaint free, ever.... (my less positive side is still alive too) 

Not everybody is cut out to be a spiritual master, but I'm hoping I can at least be less crabby as we head into the holidays. Imagine if we all cut our whining by 10%. I think we'd be more than 10% happier, though there's really no way to measure.


For now, I'm off to make more coffee and start my massive pile of laundry (and I'm conciously not complaing about it.)

More Than One Way

I was recently found myself charge of hauling a rented minivan full of 6th - 8th grade kids five hours each way for a weekend camping and caving adventure. I tend to get myself into situations like this, which I think sound like fun, but most people seem to think they sound more like torture. We're probably both right.

I returned home with what appear to be new permanent laugh lines in my face, as well as some possible hearing damage. These kids cracked me up with their youthful goofiness, but somehow the volume of their voices got stuck around a million, which made the minivan beyond loud.At least they were funny

Of the eleven kids on the trip, mine were the only ones who don't happen to go to school. Some go to regular public schools, some go to an arts charter, and a couple go to a university preparatory school. It was enlightening on all sides to say the least, and we had the most amusing conversations about education and what exactly it means to homeschool.

Like many people, the kids seemed to have trouble wrapping their minds around the idea of not going to school. It's funny because even though the 11 kids came from 7 different schools, and yet they  hang out play music and games together with my kids a couple of days every week, it took them a few minutes to connect to the fact that we all have all sorts of connections that have nothing to do with school. Hopefully they see that you can have both friends and social lives without school- you just have to seek them.

Once they realized that we don't stay home and study alone all day, but we go to parks, museums, classes, beaches, trails and events in the community- basically all the things they would do on summer vacation- some of them became intrigued. When I told them that we learn about things that we want to and are interested in, and that we do it in real life ways like going on trips, one of them said (half jokingly, at least I hope) "But school is NOT supposed to be fun!"

I told them that I thought school, like life, should be fun as often as possible. Of course it can't always be, but it should be most of the time. I also mentioned that whether or not school was fun, learning can and should be.

It's a hard balance because on the one hand, I don't want to make it sound like it's all a big party full of games, although I do try to make it so as fun as I can. I also don't want to give the impression that our deal is so much better than theirs, even though I do think we have a pretty nice option. But, not everybody has the desire, motivation or means for a free thinking and learning lifestyle. It's definitely work on the parental end, and we make sacrifices, but it's also a really great way to live.

But these days, my kids are at the age where they're definitely more tuned in to being "different." In this scenario, we were definitely a different family from the others. I hope in the short term they can see that all the families are different really, and that there are pros and cons to every choice. In the log run, I hope they will retain their autonomy, and make choices based on what's best overall, not what everyone else does. When they are grown, I hope they'll realize that just because so many other adults spend most of their lives in mind numbing work they don't like, doesn't mean they have to do that also.

There's definitely more than one way to go through life, but as far as we know, we only get this one chance at it. We might as well enjoy the ride as much as we can.

A Different CSI

It seems like when it rains, it pours, and this fall, it has been pouring down awesome opportunities for my kids. After winning scholarships to an amazing Science camp this past summer, they both became interested in the CSI program. Not CSI as in Crime Scene Investigations, which might actually appeal to my Boy Child, but I'm fairly sure Girl Child would raise her eyebrows and decline such an opportunity. I'm talking about CSI as in Community Science Interns.

This CSI is a program for junior high and high school aged kids where they get to be involved in all sorts of hands on science, conducting experiments, communicating with real scientists, leading groups of younger kids on filed trips, and all sorts of cool stuff.

One big appeal is the enthusiasm of the group leader. I had the chance to write about him for North State Parent Magazine, and to learn more about his work with kids. (This assignment is one of my favorite writing gigs, as I get paid to chat with inspiring people who are doing great things for kids.) His excitement about science is certainly contagious. He's just as energetic as the kids, if not more so, but he also has a wealth of knowledge on all kinds of science.

There's also all his techie gear. At the camp last summer, the kids got to play, I mean work, with iPad 2s. I hadn't even played with one yet, and they were making movies that are being turned into community service announcements. They also get to run shows on the planetariums dome and experiment with all sorts of stuff. Living in the country, we lean more towards natural science at home, so the immersion in technology is awesome.

Sometimes they meet at our local planetarium, sometimes in museums or out in the field, and sometimes at the community college science lab (which they think is super cool.) 

This past week, my kids did presentations on their favorite science topics -marine life and how science improves sports. Incorporating the kids' interests was definitely a smart move- they see the value in their contributions and the ways science connects to everyday things.

The down side is that the program starts really early. It's geared towards homeschoolers since it happens in the middle of a school day (and technically before we would generally start our day.) I know we aren't the only homeschoolers who shun early morning activities- I probably just complain more than most. I mean, it's not the primary reason we homeschool, but avoiding morning rushing is definitely high on the list of benefits.

Still, it's only a couple of times a month, and if gets the kids on a conference call with someone from NASA or to the chance to build some giant robotic Lego sculpture with a grown up who is just as excited about it as they are, we can handle it. A little rushing around is worth it for the kids to hang out and learn with adults who are doing work that they love, and are willing to share it with young people.

I'm sure the internships will someday look great on college applications, but I really think that spending time with people who have jobs they are passionate about, and realizing that work can be exciting rather than dreaded is probably one of the most important things the kids can learn from the experience.
 
For  look at the CSI program, and its fearless leader, check out my article here.
 
And I'd love to hear about cool happenings with kids in your area!

Relaxing Family Yoga.... Well....Not Really

For those who are up for considering something new and relaxing with your kids...something like say, yoga...well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I feel I should warn you- yoga with children may not turn out to be relaxing in the least. Amusing probably, but relaxing....well not so much.

I've done yoga myself on and off for years, and I always feel great afterward, especially when I practice regularly. My body feels all stretchy and relaxed and my mind feels clear and peaceful- these are great things to share with kids right? That's what I thought when I had my harebrained idea of the week- to implement a regular yoga time with my kids.

One of my offspring in particular is a bundle of energy and could occasionally use some help in the focus department, so I especially looked forward to introducing him to yoga. The other is pretty mellow on her own, but when exposed to Crazy Child, it rubs off slightly.

Anyway, I found the most wonderful yoga instructor on You Tube- a woman named Esther. I first came across her "Happy Morning Yoga" and loved it. I am still not sure if it's the actual yoga, or just her calming voice, but I was smiling in no time.



Esther has yoga for just about any occasion too- Feeling sluggish? Have a headache or cramps? Insomnia? Are you a runner? Want to lose weight? Whatever your issue you want to deal with, she has a handy little search tab, and I've been able to find videos for just about any occasion (although sometimes you have to phrase it more than one way to find what you want and make sure you're searching her Yogatic channel to get her videos, not all of You Tube, or you might end up with some random bikini clad bouncy person)
 
Anyway, I'm attempting to implement Relaxing Family Yoga, although so far, it hasn't been all that relaxing...ok, not at all. Perhaps eventually, Mr. Wiggle Kid will actually listen to what Esther is saying and not just flail himself into some crazy pretzel position. Perhaps someday they won't both randomly burst into giggles when we are supposed to be focusing on our breath. Yeah....maybe. In the meantime, I am getting two kinds of yoga- relaxing on my own, and entertaining with my kids. And, I'm convincing myself that they are somehow organically absorbing something valuable and learning by osmosis.

Another bonus- not that we're ever short of things that count as PE in our happy little homeschool, but this does add some variety to the mix. So, if you're looking for something lovely to try for yourself, or something fun to do with your family, I would highly recommend Esther. Her free videos are awesome! But if your kids are anything like mine, it might not be very peaceful.

September 11th

I was curled up in bed in a nest of books with my little ones around me when my mother called. Living in a tiny cabin without electricity in the mountain, this was how we usually started our days- without television or news or internet, but with stories.

"You'd better turn on your generator or whatever you need to do to see what's happening on TV!" I had no idea what she was talking about, what was behind the fear in her voice. Something about planes and buildings. I didn't know what it had to do with me in my happy little world, but she was upset, so I obliged.

The TV usually only came on with the generator for an hour or so every few days- timed so I could run laundry while one kid napped, another one watched PBS kids and I tried to get online. I was never a fan of watching news and the negativity it brings into my home even when I had an unlimited supply of electricity. I certainly wouldn't choose to endure starting a loud, gas guzzling generator that was older than me just to feel I was up to date in the world. But with the urgency of her voice that day, I did.


My Boy Child was still a baby, oblivious and happily playing. My Girl Child was not even three herself, but had always been a thoughtful child tuned in to others around her. Sensing something was wrong, she stayed attentive and close.We both stared at the tiny screen in shock as the video replayed a plane crashing into a smoking skyscraper. The announcer rambled something about the number of people working in the building. It was astronomical- the number of people that were in that building was higher than the population of the entire county we lived in.

She only had one question. "Mama, were there any children in that building?"

All I could say was that I hoped not. This was the exact reason I chose not to normally watch TV. Now, at the young age of two and a half, my girl had this image in her mind.

When the buildings fell, I expected that the death toll would be in the tens of thousands, and could hardly believe that it was less than 3000. Of course that is still huge and tragic, but I couldn't help but be in awe, and I still am, at the massive coordinated effort it must have taken to evacuate and save so many people.

I've never been to New York city, but its reputation doesn't generally make one think of words like "friendly," "neighborly," or "kind." That's what makes it even more striking to me. Even in big cities full of strangers and terror, the world is full of very good people. It gives me hope.

Ten years later, my kids don't remember the day the Twin Towers fell, but in looking back, I hope they too will have that sense of amazement, not just horror at the atrocity, but wonder in the bravery of their fellow humans. Goodness is everywhere and it will shine, even when things look bleak.


We were all touched by this video and these unsung heroes, everyday people who literally helped save the day. I thought it was well worth watching, and I hope you do too.
 

The Fire Drill

It's been such an unbelievably mild summer in northern California, I haven't even thought about fire season. Until now. Suddenly, it's oppressively hot, and to top off the misery of melting in front of my swamp cooler, the wind is blowing so fiercely that it woke me this morning sounding like a motorcycle speeding on the freeway. The grass is bone dry, the plants and trees have shriveled, and something in the air just seems like trouble brewing . It feels like fire season.

I don't want to freak out my kids, but I do want them to be prepared, to know what to do just in case. So, I ask them to start thinking about it. We've been through this before, of course, which is probably why I did end up freaking them out anyway. My kids may have never had a school fire drill- they've never been to school, but living in the mountains, they have had the real thing more than once. No alarms and orderly exits, just smoke, wind and quickly trying to evaluate what is important enough to save and how to move so many animals.

It's a strange feeling to think about what you actually want to take with you. During our first wildfire scare, we had the luxury of a day to think hard about just that. The fire started a few miles away, but the wind was blowing in our direction, and the only thing in between were pine trees and manzanita bushes. Even before the call from the sheriffs office warning us to start packing, it didn't take a genius to figure out that we should be doing just that.

Of course living things came first, and we have a lot of them around here. Thank God for wonderful friends who came and picked up everything from our cats and dogs to our goats, chickens and ducks and housed them temporarily at their homes, even though they were not set up for such things.

Next came pictures and then as we still had a few hours before we had to be out, we packed our favorite clothes, books, art and toys. I let each kid pick for themselves what would go in their suitcase because you never really know what's special to another person. Some of our helpers couldn't understand why my Girl Child was choosing a doll made from a pancake syrup bottle over an expensive porcelain doll, and seemed upset about it. I think they expected me to be the voice of reason. Well, I reasoned that since Girl Child was the one who played with the things, she could probably decide what was actually important for herself. Mrs Butterworths made the cut.

We still laugh about that, and we'll probably still have that syrup bottle to give my grandkids. Our neighborhood was evacuated for a few days, but fortunately untouched by the fire.

Our next scare came a few years later. This time, we were in town, and noticed a huge plume of smoke in the east. Since it looked like it could be near our house, and fires moves quickly in the foothills, we skipped the rest of our errands and headed towards home. As we drove the 20 miles, the kids began to freak out about our elderly dog being stranded and unable to escape. I tried to calmly reassure them that we would be home in time.

Well, I looked like a big idiot a few minutes later when we found the road to our property blocked by the worlds grumpiest police man. He had no compassion whatsoever as he dryly told my crying kids that we could not get in, no matter what. A man with a press pass went in, but we couldn't. My Girl Child wanted me to just hit the gas and floor it past the cop, but he seemed like the type that would shoot out my tire and then drag me out of the car and taser me in front of my kids, so I opted not to. But, I was furious. Unfortunately, Officer Meanie made just about the worst first impression my kids could have ever had of the police force with his complete lack of kindness, respect or empathy.

Cars full of equally angry neighbors lined up, all of whom were being told no, you cannot go save your horses, your dogs, anything. One woman was near hysterics as her teenage son was home alone with no car to get out, but she was told to just wait while they did their jobs. I imagined the press man in there taking pictures of our burning things while we were supposed to sit there and wait.

Thankfully the fire fighters did their jobs very well. No homes, animals or people were harmed, and we very much appreciated their hard work. We went home and planned what would we do if it happened again. Things were a little more organized "in case of emergency" for a while, but of course life goes on. We can't live with all of our important things packed and ready all the time. They are out everywhere all over the house being looked at, used, played with and enjoyed.

But today when I woke up to hazy air and dry leaves rustling in the hot wind, I realized it's that time again- we need to think along those lines of being prepared. I mentally located my favorite picture albums while I told my kids to at least know where their most prized things are, just in case. I stepped out for a bit and came back to find my kids had packed bags, cat carriers and dog leashes ready to go. I'm very proud of them for thinking and planning, but I hadn't really meant for them to take it that far. I'm pretty sure I scared them and think if I had been gone too long, they might have started taking the pictures off the walls.

I let them know that it's looking like the haze in the air is coming from fires that are far away enough to the north that we aren't at risk from them. It's still the season and we're not out of the woods yet, but we don't have to pack up everything into boxes just so it's ready "in case." Just knowing where things are, and what our priorities are will have to be good enough. Maybe we'll attempt a rain dance as well.